I’m recapping the last weekend in July. It was a tough one. Since August is flying by, I realized how I’ve been in a funk ever since. It’s been a tough summer for me mentally. There’s been some amazing moments for me, which I adore because summer is a fun season. Yet, as fast as those wonderful times entered my life, they left just as quickly. It’s hard.
My mom suffered another anxiety attack. I wasn’t too worried about it at first. We had some pretty hot weeks in July, and she mentioned how it was hard for her to breathe sometimes. I warned her that the humidity was high and she might be having seasonal allergies. I told her to take it easy and she insisted that she would.
That weekend of the white party was a long weekend for me. Since I wanted to see my favorite dj, I stayed out until 5am that Saturday. Once Sunday came and went, I decided to use a personal day to run some errands. I thought about my mom, but since I spoke to her the night before, she seemed to be feeling better. I relaxed the whole day, and when the time came to call her in the evening, I got the shock I didn’t see coming. She told me she admitted herself to the hospital. I freaked out of course, but then she reassured me that the doctors didn’t find anything physically wrong. She had suffered an anxiety attack.
My heart broke into pieces. I started to cry when she told me the doctors advised her to see a therapist. Here we are once more. Two years ago, when my mom returned to work after the death of her husband, she did therapy for two months before she quit. She just didn’t see what the point was.
I cried because I want my mom to WANT to get better. She’s been stressing herself out ever since she put the house on sale. We’ve had four prospective buyers that in the end backed out. The pressure is on because my mom is afraid this house will be sitting on the market too long. I get it.
She decided to have a yard sale to downsize her belongings. Me and my family came by to support her. She did well that Saturday and got rid of a lot of stuff. I was watching her like a hawk, but she seemed to enjoy having us around.
My friend invited me out for drinks afterwards. I waited a while for her. Right before she picked me up, I got news that someone we knew had passed away suddenly. I was in shock.
Once we went out, my friend could tell something was off with me, but she had her own drama going on, so we focused on her. It was a lot for me to process, so I stood quiet for most of the night. Not one of my best nights out and I wanted that day to be over.
The next day, me and my family went back to check on my mom’s yard sale. I was mostly quiet there too. I was in a loss for words. I just want everyone to be ok. But the more I look around, I feel that the people I love are suffering in their own way. I feel so helpless.
In the end, my mom made some good money getting rid of some stuff. We also ended up getting another offer for the house. So far, this one is going through.
No comments:
Post a Comment