In My Feelings

Sorry I have been MIA.  My feelings are getting the best of me.  My birthday is next week and I am in a funk.  Actually, it started back in mid-May.  I hate that I get this way.  I’m beginning to dread my birthday and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I think I figured out why that is.  I think it’s a combination of getting older among other things.  There also was an incident in my past that has led me to believe I will never truly celebrate my birthday again.

My breakup started around my birthday.  To make matters worse, it lasted all that summer.  Sometimes I get flashbacks from summer festivities which remind me where I was 7 years ago.  I can’t believe it’s been that long and it still hurts.  It’s not only the fact that I thought things were fine with us.  It’s how everything slowly unraveled and I couldn’t do anything about it.  I was completely helpless.

I realize now how much I sacrificed to make him “happy”.  This is something that gets me upset from time to time.  I finally learned that was the wrong thing to do in a relationship.  It does not serve anything except bring insecurities to the surface.  We should have dealt with it back then when the issue arose.   

Ever since our breakup I slowly dived into traveling because that was one of the things I didn’t do when I was with him.  Now I can’t stop planning my next trip.  I love browsing through sites to get travel inspiration.  As of now, I am planning a weekend getaway next week to see an art exhibit in Detroit.  I can’t wait.

Back when I returned from Turkey, my best friend from Italy was coming into Chicago two days later.  I went to work that Wednesday and met up with my friend for dinner the next day.  They stayed at a hotel in Streeterville and ended up having dinner reservations 2 blocks away.  I went home from work, showered up, and then hopped in an uber.  We ended up at Gyu-Kaku Japanese bbq.  My friend’s husband grilled the meat.  It was delish.  I wish my friend stayed in town longer, but I understand they had to leave soon.  I miss the times we use to share when we were younger!  We would take weekend getaways to New York, Miami or Vegas.  I miss our girl time together…

Istanbul: Day Three

We didn’t have much planned for our last day together.  That’s why we stayed up talking all night long.  We missed the breakfast but grabbed some coffee instead.  We took our time getting ready in our rooms.  I made sure I started packing my things since I had decided I was going to go to the airport tonight.  I had a 4am flight back to Paris.  From there I was going to fly out at 12pm back to Chicago.  That was the best option for me when I booked these flights.  My friends were leaving at 2pm the next day.  

Today the Grand Bazaar was on the agenda.  I knew I wanted to pick up a few souvenirs for my mom and for myself.  We grew hungry since we didn’t eat yet and I decided a fish sandwich was going to be the best choice for me.  I wanted to try some local cuisine and a fish sandwich around the port area was what kept coming up in my searches.  I was too curious not to try!  My friends found a restaurant and I walked over to a fish stand and ordered my sandwich.  The man preparing it added paprika and lemon juice.  To my surprise, the fish was very meaty and filling.  For 7 turkish lire I would definitely recommend it!

We found the Grand Bazaar, and yes, this place was HUGE!  They were selling everything imaginable.  I found a trivet for my mom since she uses them a lot, and found some cay tea to bring back to the States.   I kept walking around to look for something for my male co-workers, but in my opinion, everything seemed too girlie.  I even tried to find some souvenir socks, but kept finding regular black trouser socks instead.  In the end I got them both a can opener with the Turkish flag on it.  Oh well; what can you do?

My friends wanted to go back to the Spice Bazaar.  This part was confusing because I wasn’t sure what else they had in mind.

We rode back the other direction on the tram and headed to the Spice Bazaar.  We stuck around until it closed.  Beforehand, we had made arrangements with the concierge to have a pickup at the hotel by 7:45pm.  They were going to take me to the airport, and unfortunately it was the last drop off for the evening.  We got back to the hotel in time for my ride.  I said bye to my friends and their parents.  They were going to freshen up and head out to dinner.  I wish I could have joined them.

Just like I expected, the caravan had to pick up other passengers at different hotels.  This part took almost an hour.  It wasn’t explained to me at the time but at least I wasn’t in a hurry.  It also gave me a chance to see different neighborhoods since we mostly stayed in the Old Town neighborhood.

In the end, I got to the airport close to 10pm and once it hit midnight, I checked in and decided to kill some time at a café and use their plugs to charge my phone.  I completely knocked out on my flight and landed safely in Paris after 6am.  There I killed some more time by messaging my friend in Italy.  I even got a chance to enjoy one last chocolate filling muffin before I boarded my flight home.  I wish I could find those muffins in Chicago!  They are delicious!

Istanbul: Day Two

My friends woke me up at 1am.  By the time I headed back to my hotel they were already boarding their flight.  And just like I warned them, it took them a while to get out of the airport.  They found a  driver and hired him to drive to the city.  It didn’t take them 2 hours like it did for me, but there probably wasn’t much traffic at that time.  I was so happy to see them!

We caught up for a bit and knocked out around 3am.  The hotel’s complimentary breakfast was going to be served from 7-10am.  I woke up around 8ish and headed up to the rooftop to see what they had to offer.  I ran into their parents who have a room across from us.  We all sat together and discussed their trip in Italy.  Eventually we decided to wake up the sisters so they wouldn’t miss out on breakfast.  They finally came up and joined us.

The weather was acting up.  At first it seemed the sun was trying to peek out but the clouds started to roll in.  I also noticed that it wasn’t as warm as it was the day before.  We decided to get things moving and got back to our rooms to shower up and get ready.  First up was the Hagia Sophia Museum.

We walked over down the street from our hotel and I showed them the restaurant I had dined in.  We made our way over to the plaza and noticed how many people were already up and roaming around.  Luckily, most of the sites are near each other.  We found our spot in line and proceeded to wait.  It seemed to be moving quickly, but we waited close to 40 minutes.  As the afternoon got later and later we noticed the line was noticely longer than when we had first waited.  As we got closer the crowd seemed more aggressive.  It got to the point that there were some shoving around, but it settled once we all made our way inside.  I think people didn’t want to lose their groups, but it did get hectic for a bit.

The Hagia Sophia is massive, and once we were inside we had more space to move around.  For the most part, the building itself was detailed more on the dome ceilings and low chandeliers.  We found the infamous Hagia Sophia cats napping over by the fenced area.  They didn’t seem to mind all of the commotion.

We walked around and admired the 2^nd floor when we decided to move along to the Blue Mosque.  We headed outside and found the main entrance.  My friends’ parents wanted to pray so they walked over to the area to rinse their feet.  My girlfriend convinced me to stay in line with her and not go in the visitor’s line, but in the end everyone met in the same area once inside.

Me and my friends stayed at the visitor side while their parents prayed at the other end.  For the most part, the carpet in the Blue Mosque was rich and plush.  Although in person the lighting was not as bright, my iphone did capture the blue tiles inside.  It was a lovely experience and one I will remember in the years to come.

Afterwards, we grew hungry.  We passed by the café I had dined the night before and decided to have lunch there as well.  My friends loved the food and we even made a friend with the local cat.  We figured we still had time to hit one more spot.

We went back to our rooms to freshen up and headed out to find the Spice Bazaar.  This time, we needed to take the tram and that was an obstacle itself.  Luckily, someone explained to us where to purchase our metro cards and how to use the machine.  For the most part, people were very helpful to us.  We jumped on the packed tram and headed to our stop.

It wasn’t too bad of a ride.  But with all of the people walking around, we knew we our chances of getting there quicker were better off on the tram.  We slowly got familiar with the new area, and my friends’ family wanted some Turkish delights.  They stopped at a café to rest up before we all made our way to the Spice Bazaar.

Upon entering we had to go through a security check point, but once inside we decided to part ways.  Her parents wanted spices and I wanted to look around.  My friends were looking for souvenirs to bring back to their family.  The Spice Bazaar was a great place to find interesting goodies.  They even plastic sealed their spices!

We stayed there until it closed and then made our way back to the tram station.  We had a funny moment not knowing that some trams operated at both sides.  We witnessed a tram come to a complete stop, and then the driver got off and walked to the other end to jump on and drive the opposite direction.  

We decided to stick around our neighborhood off of the hotel to check out that local bazaar.  We found a wonderful store selling Turkish lamps and I knew right away I wanted one for my place.  It took us a while to find the combinations we wanted since they were all so beautiful.  

We walked over to our hotel, but my friend grew hungry again and went to a local restaurant nearby and picked up some food.  We stayed up talking most of the night and made some wonderful memories.  I miss them now that I’m thinking about them...

Istanbul: Day One

I ended up taking an uber at 4:30am.  I arrived at Charles De Gaulle airport around 5am.  My flight was at 8am, but boarding time was at 7am.  It was very confusing, but needless to say, I felt better getting there earlier than later.  Once I boarded, I took a nap right away.  I knew I had to get some sleep since I was going to land in Istanbul at 12pm.  I still hadn’t figured out how to get to my hotel yet.

I was out of it once we landed.  Since they had transferred flights to the new airport, I noticed right away how long it was taking us to get to our gate.  Our pilot even reminded us that he had not taken off the remove-your-seat-belt sign.  Passengers got back to their seat and waited.  And waited.  And waited.  At first I felt the pilot was riding down the runway, but it took another 40 minutes until he pulled into our gate!  How big was this airport???

Well, it was HUGE.  Once we got off, it looked like a marathon race.  Passengers were walking quickly to get to passport control, but after they realized how much walking was going on, they slowed down their pace.  We must have passed at least 10 walking terminals until we reached check point.  Luckily, that line wasn’t too bad.

Since I had my carry-on luggage with me, my only concern was trying to find a place to exchange my euros so I wouldn’t have to do it outside of the airport.  The cashier took my bills, and once she asked for my passport, she looked at me and smiled and said, “America.”  I smiled back at her and realized my nerves went away.

My friends whom I was meeting later in the evening were messaging me.  They were still roaming around Naples.  I told them I landed safely, but needed to have some coffee so I could wake up and figure out how to get out of there.  According to google maps, there was a bus that would take me to Istanbul.  It was going to take 2 hours!  I was hoping that wasn’t true, but unfortunately they were right.  By the time I figured out where the ticket booth was to catch this bus, it was nearing 3pm!

I was worried when I boarded the bus since I almost got on the wrong one.  I was too busy following where everyone else was going, but the bus driver assured me I was on the right bus.  Once the bus filled up, he was all set to go.  Unfortunately, they were not going exactly according to schedule.

As we rode into the city, I took the opportunity to look out the window to check my surroundings.  Once we got into the city, I felt a little bit better.  But then I realized the traffic started to back up.  That’s when I looked into the horizon full of buildings after buildings.  Istanbul is HUGE!!  I realized how populated it was.  Sure enough, we got stuck in traffic, and the rest of the ride was bumper-to-bumper traffic.

I noticed palm trees and figured we were getting closer to the tourist part of Istanbul.  I ended up missing my stop.  I should have asked the bus driver but I knew something was up once the majority of people got off a stop.  He reassured me he will drop me off the next stop, but it was towards the port area.  A German lady tried to help me once we got off together and told me to head back to where I was supposed to get off.  I walked along the water front and noticed all the families enjoying the weather.  At this time, the temperature was nearing 80 degrees.

I felt I was way off course, but I knew I was going the right way.  My friends were now making their way to Naples airport, but were surprised I hadn’t gotten to the hotel yet.  After 30 minutes of walking I noticed a building up a hill that had a spike peeking out from the trees.  I felt it was the Blue Mosque.  I knew I was almost there.

I saw some tourists walking around and asked if I was near the Blue Mosque.  I had to go up the hill (a nightmare with my luggage) but the cabs wouldn’t take me up the narrow road.  Apparently, they were not allowed to go into the Old Town.  Only the large charter buses got inside.  I kept walking.

Of course, once I got inside the neighborhood, it took me another 20 minutes to find my hotel.  This area was heavily populated with back to back hotels.  A sweet old man came up to me after he found me standing in front of his hotel and asked if I was lost.  He took the number of my hotel and called on his cell phone to find the exact location.  So far everyone was super sweet to me.

I FINALLY found my hotel.  I was exhausted.  It was now 5:30pm.  I had landed in Istanbul at

12pm and it almost took me 6 hours to get to my hotel.  Unbelievable.  I messaged my friends and told them I was safe.  They’re flight was going to be delayed, but only for 20 minutes.  I ended up knocking out for a bit.  I slept for about 40 minutes, but wanted to have some dinner since by now I was starving.  I jumped in the shower and got ready.  When I checked in, the concierge told me people in Istanbul have dinner around 7 or 8pm.  I knew I didn’t want to walk around by myself too late.

I walked down the street off my hotel and found a Bazaar.  One particular restaurant looked lively, so I settled in there.  They had live music playing.  People seemed to be enjoying themselves.  Others were ordering hookahs for their tables.  I think I found the right spot!

The waiter was very friendly and I ordered the most delicious kabobs I’ve ever had in my life!  At one point a whirling deverish dancer came out and twirled for the audience.  I had to pinch myself!  My first night in Istanbul was magical and I was loving it!

Louis Vuitton Foundation

I woke up feeling rested again and decided today was my day to finally go to the Louis Vuitton Foundation.  I had my croissant and coffee and made my way down to the metro.  I got lost for a bit trying to find the street where I should turn to once I exited my stop.  Eventually I found my rue and proceeded to check on google maps to continue.  There was a part where I would have to walk for 14 minutes.  I was nervous this was going to take me in circles again, but I did find the familiar structure along the horizon.  Whoopie!  I’m getting so close to it!

I had to wait in line for a bit and go through security again.  This day in particular was very gusty.  I had layered up but was getting miserable with the wind.  Once inside I made my way through the museum.  I absolutely loved everything on display!  It was a nice change to see modern works of art than from earlier centuries.  It also gave me a new perspective on where art is heading in the near future.

The infinity room from Yayoi Kusama was mind blowing!!  At first, I didn’t know I was going to “feel” something in a room full of mirrors, but walking into it was an experience I will never forget.  There is no words to describe how it feels to be infinite, but she mastered the sensation!  I also discovered other contemporary artists such as Gerhard Richter, Mark Bradford, and Nick Mauss.

Since I was making good on time, I felt I could squeeze in the Army Museum that my friend had recommended.  He said it was his favorite museum, and that got me curious.  Considering he is a local Parisian, I knew I had to check it out. 

What a surprise this was!  This museum was about the French Army and of course, Napoleon.  I was a bit intimidated when I walked into the room where his tomb was.  I have never seen anything that massive, but then again, that was Napoleon.  Afterwards, I grew hungry and realized I would miss French baguette sandwiches once I leave Paris.  I found a sandwich vendor and munched away.

My friend wanted to see me once more since I was flying out in the morning.  I went by his place and we rode the train back towards my hotel.  He was attending a party and I had made plans with my other friend who lives in Paris.  I was getting nervous about how to get to the airport for a 8am flight and was discussing the details with the hotel receptionist.  He was very helpful.  In the end we decided that I should schedule an uber since the trains in Paris don’t run very often early Saturday mornings.  I went to my room to pack my belongings.

My friend was working late but we made plans to meet by the Saint Germain neighborhood around 9pm.  This was the perfect opportunity for me to go to my favorite café and have my favorite champagne.  I was seated right away and ordered my Pommery Rose Apanage!  It was delish!  As the night went on my friend texted me she was pretty tired from work but she was going to rest for a bit before heading out to meet me.  I felt bad and told her she didn’t have to.  She had texted me last night to see what I was doing but I told her I was having dinner with my friend.  I was afraid something like this was going to happen.  I told her let’s meet next time I’m in Paris since I had a morning flight.  She said fine.

When you are trying to make up for lost time...

Since I felt I didn’t get a chance to do much the day that I landed, I was glad I had a good night’s rest.  I showered up and headed to the café down the street for my croissant and latte.  I got to the Opera a little after 12pm.  There wasn’t much of a line yet, but there were groups of students everywhere.  I didn’t wait too long to get inside.  This opera house is truly extravagant!  I was amazed at how much detail was put in place.  I took a bunch of photos there and even made it to the gift shop to pick up something for my mom.  

I felt the Pantheon was a good choice for my next stop.  It took me a while to figure out where it was.  I was getting frustrated, but eventually I found the little street that led me up to the building.  Again, tons of students everywhere, but I walked in right away.  Talk about grand!  It was one of the most impressive city buildings I have ever laid eyes on.  I was a bit confused on what the pendulum was about.  Regardless, I left to find some crepes.  I was dying for something sweet.

Towards the metro stop I remembered I saw a man selling crepes and decided to have one with nutella.  By now the sun was beating hard, so I headed to Luxembourg Garden to have a seat and enjoy the view.  People were sunbathing everywhere.

I was excited to find out that it was barely 3pm.  I felt I could still sneak in another museum.  I headed back on the metro and exited at the Notre Dame stop.  I looked at the cathedral at a glance and noticed the long line of tourists waiting to get inside.  Who knew that was the last time I would see the Notre Dame in one piece?

I had to walk along the Seine river to get down to the other side to the musee de l’orangerie.  I was worried I wasn’t going to be able to get inside.  I wasn’t sure how long the wait would be.  I asked a bicycle-cab how much would he charge to take me over there.  His rates were listed at 15 euros.  Unfortunately I did not have enough cash with me and I preceded to walk away.  The man stopped me and asked how much I had.  We came to an agreement at 10 euros.  I was not aware they can negotiate. 

What a ride!  It felt good to be off of my feet.  He got me there in no time.  The line was long (by now it was later in the day and that was to be expected).  I was relieved when they let me in.  It was close to 4pm and the museum closed at 5pm.  I did something that got me in a bit of trouble with security.  I found a wall plug and used it to charge my phone.  I HAD TO!!  I couldn’t be here with a phone that was dying out!  I wanted to take my pictures.  Regardless, I charged it for 15 minutes before security yelled at me.  Off I went!

I found the main room of Monet’s Water Lilies right away.  It was amazing!!  I absolutely loved it!  I walked through the rooms and stared at each of the paintings.  This museum was quick to navigate.  I left shortly before 5pm.

I made my way back to my hotel and quickly changed.  My friend and I had made plans for dinner.  I made it back to his place to pick him up and we headed over to Rue Mabillon to Marcello.  I joked to him that he ended up taking me to an Italian restaurant, but the food was very good.  We talked through the night about the changes that were coming up for him.  I like hearing a different perspectives.  It took me a moment to realize he was pretty concerned about the decisions he was making, but I feel confident that things will be fine.    

Unfortunately, by the time I made it back to my hotel, my other friend was messaging me to come out.  We had made plans for tomorrow, but now she’s out and about and wanted to meet up.  I couldn’t do it.  My feet were killing me.  I turned her down and we settled to meet the next day.