Friendsgiving

Last Saturday I went to my very first Friendsgiving.  I have to say, I’ve been down lately.  I can’t help but feel guilty about the holidays coming up.  My friend just lost someone very close to her, and I wonder about her well-being.  It dawned on me how this time of year can trigger a lot of emotions, especially loneliness.  I guess that’s where Friendsgiving comes into play.

Let’s face it.  Sometimes we can’t choose our family.  But friends are a different story.  These are people who know you best, yet choose to spend time with you, confide in you, and love you unconditionally, no matter what.  I’m very grateful I have a set of good friends whom I cherish to death.  Despite not really being in the mood for holiday cheer, I showed up at the last minute to my first Friendsgiving.  I loved seeing my friends, although I was quiet most of the night.  I know tomorrow is going to be a lot for me.  I’m not feeling very talkative, but this is the only time I get to see most of my family all in one room.  It’s hard to get together with our hectic schedules.

I hope everyone enjoys their Thanksgiving.  If by chance, you are spending it alone, watch a good flick on tv or catch up on book you’ve been wanting to read.  I am a huge fan of self-help books and the one I recommend is Big Magic.  Everyone has a purpose here on this earth, and this book will wake up your inspiration.  Until next time…

I wore a cowlneck sweater in camel.  The color is making a comeback this season.

I didn’t take any pictures there but this one.  I’ve never seen a bottle like this.  Too cute!

Leña Brava

I am still recapping the weekend my friend was here to attend a funeral.  I stayed low key that Saturday, but we made plans on Sunday to have dinner downtown.  She picked me up and we drove down to Randolph street where we going to meet another friend of ours.  This friend, too, happened to be in Chicago to attend a wedding.  It was nice seeing her as well.  For a brief moment, it felt like everything was normal again.  Until we realized that the last time we all saw each, our circumstances were different.  It was hard to catch up to where we are today.  Yet I couldn’t help but feel fortunate that we were sharing things that were very difficult for us.  I truly believe we need to strengthen our relationships when life is going well.  Because the reality is Life will be completely unfair sometimes, and it will knock you down.  We need to cherish our friendships as much as we can.  No drama should separate the bond that you share with your loved ones. 

Since red is in this season, I wore my vintage Dooney & Burke.

Frida at Leña Brava.

Love them TREMENDOUSLY!!

Floating

Do you ever feel like you’re “floating” through time?  Right now, my concept of time is off balance due to recent events.  I had someone ask me if I’m excited next week is Thanksgiving.  I answered that Halloween passed by too quickly.  Regardless, I’m emotionally pooped.

My friend lost her aunt unexpectedly.  In a matter of 2 weeks I’ve been to 2 funerals.  In hindsight, in the past 2 months I’ve known 4 people in total who have lost their lives.  Every single situation was truly heart breaking.  With the devastation in Puerto Rico from Hurricane Maria, and the domestic terrorism incident in Las Vegas, I never imagined in a million years some of the events I have witnessed.  My heart aches for my friends who have suffered the unimaginable. 

In the meantime, I wake up in the middle of the night and cry myself back to sleep.  I am constantly sad.  I try to fight off my thoughts and try to be optimistic but sometimes life can be unfair.  I can’t find the silver lining, or lesson learned, or any meaning except that shit happens.  I pray all the time for my friends and family’s safety.  I wish I could find a way to make things better.

At the funeral for my friend’s aunt, the rabbi mentioned to focus on what SHE would have wanted for her loved ones:  to move on.  Even if we are hurting with her gone, she would have wanted everyone to move past this and live their lives to the fullest.  I completely agreed with him.  He’s right.  That is what she would have wanted.  The least we could do is grant her that wish.

I felt anxious when I came home and napped it out since I’ve been barely sleeping.  Once I woke up I decided to go to a birthday party that I was invited to at the last minute.  I just didn’t want to be at home alone with my thoughts.  I made my way to Parlor off Randolph and met up with some friends.  It felt good not to think for a bit.  Luckily, since it was a birthday celebration, everyone was in good spirits.  We ended up at The Mid and danced around.  For this short moment, I saw happy faces, and it was worth it…

After party at The Mid!

Good times...

Holloween

With the sudden death of our colleague, the mood at work has been sad altogether.  Many of us worked or interacted with him on a daily basis.  The thought of not seeing him around has my mind playing tricks on me.  I sometimes think he’s not truly gone forever.  This part of growing older has been the hardest for me.  I am an extremely sensitive person who constantly worries about friends and relatives.  It’s hard for me knowing one of them might be going through something difficult and not mention it.  I’m always praying for their safety.
We did a memorial for our colleague and it was beautiful.  I learned so much about him and his family.  It also gave us some closure as well.
Before you knew it, Halloween weekend was upon us.  I didn’t have any definite plans but had a costume ready just in case.  I woke up with the sniffles that Saturday but me and my brothers promised my mom we would help her move.  Unfortunately the sale of the house has stalled but we figured we should continue on with the move.  My mom found an apartment four houses down from  her place.  She wanted to stay in the neighborhood.
As the move went on, my friends were getting excited about Halloween.  We settled for Apogee; the newly renovated rooftop at the Dana Hotel.  I went home and quickly showered and changed into my costume.  Once there, we got our table together and had a great time.  After a somber week, it was nice seeing my friends.

I’m a Dutch Darling!

BEST costume we’ve seen!

Trick or treat 

Closing it out at Celeste 

Carnivale Celebration

I’ve been a total mess this week and it’s hard to look back at events that happened in October.  Since I’ve been back from my trip, I feel very anxious.  We had a colleague pass away suddenly 2 weeks ago and it has affected all of us here at work.  I worked with him and the thought of not seeing him around was hard.  I found out more details of his passing on Friday but had dinner plans later for a birthday celebration.  I wanted to get out of them.

I felt bad because my friends were very excited to get together that day.  Since I couldn’t get emotional at work being at the front desk I had to rush to get home to get ready for the party.  I did not have time to express my feelings being rushed.  I purposely did not wear mascara because I felt the tears coming, but I tried my hardest not to cry.  By the time my friend picked me up to head downtown, I couldn’t help it anymore.  Luckily, she was very sweet listening to me vent.  Our focus afterwards was for me to calm down so we could see our friends.  I absolutely did not want to ruin my friend’s birthday.  We quickly said a prayer, and then walked into Carnival restaurant with our heads up high.

Our friend had a great time.  We laughed and random memories we had with her throughout the years.  I know because it’s hard for all of us to get together, I did not want my issue to become the topic of conversation.  This was her moment and she enjoyed every moment of it.  Once we finished dinner, some of our group went home but a few of us decided to tough it out.  We went to Ace Hotel for more cocktails and shenanigans.  In the end, you have to live for the moment, no matter what you’re going through.

Shameless

Due to recent circumstances, I will be posting less frequently in order to take some time for myself.  Unfortunately, I’ve been hit with too many personal issues at once, and it’s beginning to take a toll on me.  I’ve been having a hard time sleeping, have been ill with a cold/cough, and feeling overwhelmed.  Despite this turn of events, I feel the need to be close to loved ones more than ever.  Some of my recent posts are bringing me back to the start of all of this.  I have to admit, it’s very hard for me.

Columbus Day weekend, my friend was visiting from out of town.  I was very excited to see her.  We use to work with each other back when I first started retail.  I loved our friendship very much.  When she left Chicago I was sad, but luckily she comes into town pretty often to visit her family.  On this trip we scheduled to see each other that Sunday.  We made plans to go to the mall.

Well that didn’t happen of course.  Lol.  She picked me up and confessed that she wasn’t feeling well herself, and wanted to go back to her sister’s place and chill like we use to do.  I didn’t mind one bit, but she did have a request for me.  She wanted to see the house from the series “Shameless.”  Even though I am a native Chicagoan, I didn’t recognize the show.  I rarely watch tv and it’s been that way for me for a while.  Most of the times, I have no idea what people are talking about when they mention Game of Thrones or Stranger Things.  I rather read a good self-help book.

We drove down to the neighborhood and tried to find the address.  My friend recognized it right away but we were unaware that people did reside in the house.  There was a family bbq happening in the front lawn, and we looked like stalkers driving up to it very slowly.  Despite my pleas to leave, my friend insisted I take a quick pic before she put the pedal to the medal.  I got the money shot and we drove away like bandits. 

Back at her sister’s we shared our little adventure.  Only she can make me do something so silly like that.  I miss her very much.  I wish we could work together like we use to.  We had a lot of fun when we did…

The Money Shot-  Shameless House 

Chris Chelios event at Untitled

This will be hard to recap due to recent circumstances.  I was asked to help out an event being held at Untitled.  I knew offhand that this will be a busy evening for us and it was!  We had over 300 attendees!  I came in at 5pm after work to help at the registration table, but people were already lining up to get their badges.  I never got a chance to fully grasp what I was supposed to do until it was too late.  We got bombarded at the table.  People were rushing in after work and they crowded around us all at once.  While the other girls checked off names I handed over badges as fast as I could.  I was trying my best to not get in the way, but at one point, we had too many people behind the table trying to move the line along.  We just said “Fuck it”, and gave up on checking in altogether.  We quickly handed out badges so people could get inside to see our speaker, hockey player Chris Chelios.  He was scheduled to speak at 6pm but the line was starting to wrap around the stairs!  Everything slowed down for us once we got the line moving, and Chris started his presentation.  It was nice to relax for a bit and unwind.  As the event was moving along, we had to set up books for people to grab on the way out.  This part wasn’t so bad, and we even had a chance to take a picture with the famous hockey player.  Looking back, I learned so much from this event.  We worked well as a team, and our main goal was for people to have a good time.  Luckily they did and we received some great feedback on our event.  I just don’t understand what happened after that.  I guess we’ll never know…