Floating

Do you ever feel like you’re “floating” through time?  Right now, my concept of time is off balance due to recent events.  I had someone ask me if I’m excited next week is Thanksgiving.  I answered that Halloween passed by too quickly.  Regardless, I’m emotionally pooped.

My friend lost her aunt unexpectedly.  In a matter of 2 weeks I’ve been to 2 funerals.  In hindsight, in the past 2 months I’ve known 4 people in total who have lost their lives.  Every single situation was truly heart breaking.  With the devastation in Puerto Rico from Hurricane Maria, and the domestic terrorism incident in Las Vegas, I never imagined in a million years some of the events I have witnessed.  My heart aches for my friends who have suffered the unimaginable. 

In the meantime, I wake up in the middle of the night and cry myself back to sleep.  I am constantly sad.  I try to fight off my thoughts and try to be optimistic but sometimes life can be unfair.  I can’t find the silver lining, or lesson learned, or any meaning except that shit happens.  I pray all the time for my friends and family’s safety.  I wish I could find a way to make things better.

At the funeral for my friend’s aunt, the rabbi mentioned to focus on what SHE would have wanted for her loved ones:  to move on.  Even if we are hurting with her gone, she would have wanted everyone to move past this and live their lives to the fullest.  I completely agreed with him.  He’s right.  That is what she would have wanted.  The least we could do is grant her that wish.

I felt anxious when I came home and napped it out since I’ve been barely sleeping.  Once I woke up I decided to go to a birthday party that I was invited to at the last minute.  I just didn’t want to be at home alone with my thoughts.  I made my way to Parlor off Randolph and met up with some friends.  It felt good not to think for a bit.  Luckily, since it was a birthday celebration, everyone was in good spirits.  We ended up at The Mid and danced around.  For this short moment, I saw happy faces, and it was worth it…

After party at The Mid!

Good times...