Sorry I have been MIA. My feelings are getting the best of me. My birthday is next week and I am in a funk. Actually, it started back in mid-May. I hate that I get this way. I’m beginning to dread my birthday and there’s nothing I can do about it.
I think I figured out why that is. I think it’s a combination of getting older among other things. There also was an incident in my past that has led me to believe I will never truly celebrate my birthday again.
My breakup started around my birthday. To make matters worse, it lasted all that summer. Sometimes I get flashbacks from summer festivities which remind me where I was 7 years ago. I can’t believe it’s been that long and it still hurts. It’s not only the fact that I thought things were fine with us. It’s how everything slowly unraveled and I couldn’t do anything about it. I was completely helpless.
I realize now how much I sacrificed to make him “happy”. This is something that gets me upset from time to time. I finally learned that was the wrong thing to do in a relationship. It does not serve anything except bring insecurities to the surface. We should have dealt with it back then when the issue arose.
Ever since our breakup I slowly dived into traveling because that was one of the things I didn’t do when I was with him. Now I can’t stop planning my next trip. I love browsing through sites to get travel inspiration. As of now, I am planning a weekend getaway next week to see an art exhibit in Detroit. I can’t wait.
Back when I returned from Turkey, my best friend from Italy was coming into Chicago two days later. I went to work that Wednesday and met up with my friend for dinner the next day. They stayed at a hotel in Streeterville and ended up having dinner reservations 2 blocks away. I went home from work, showered up, and then hopped in an uber. We ended up at Gyu-Kaku Japanese bbq. My friend’s husband grilled the meat. It was delish. I wish my friend stayed in town longer, but I understand they had to leave soon. I miss the times we use to share when we were younger! We would take weekend getaways to New York, Miami or Vegas. I miss our girl time together…
