I’ve been a total mess this week and it’s hard to look back at events that happened in October. Since I’ve been back from my trip, I feel very anxious. We had a colleague pass away suddenly 2 weeks ago and it has affected all of us here at work. I worked with him and the thought of not seeing him around was hard. I found out more details of his passing on Friday but had dinner plans later for a birthday celebration. I wanted to get out of them.
I felt bad because my friends were very excited to get together that day. Since I couldn’t get emotional at work being at the front desk I had to rush to get home to get ready for the party. I did not have time to express my feelings being rushed. I purposely did not wear mascara because I felt the tears coming, but I tried my hardest not to cry. By the time my friend picked me up to head downtown, I couldn’t help it anymore. Luckily, she was very sweet listening to me vent. Our focus afterwards was for me to calm down so we could see our friends. I absolutely did not want to ruin my friend’s birthday. We quickly said a prayer, and then walked into Carnival restaurant with our heads up high.
Our friend had a great time. We laughed and random memories we had with her throughout the years. I know because it’s hard for all of us to get together, I did not want my issue to become the topic of conversation. This was her moment and she enjoyed every moment of it. Once we finished dinner, some of our group went home but a few of us decided to tough it out. We went to Ace Hotel for more cocktails and shenanigans. In the end, you have to live for the moment, no matter what you’re going through.
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