Selfish

It’s official.  London is booked.  I felt incredibly guilty afterwards.  I teared up once I saw my itinerary. 

My friend quickly tried to cheer me up.  It’s only one week after all.  I just want this time for myself.  To be selfish.  As I’ve gotten older I realize there’s nothing wrong with that.

We all need to take care of our mind, body, and spirit.  It’s our duty!  Sometimes, circumstances robs us of that, and we “forget” about ourselves for a bit.  If nothing happens then it lasts longer.  Then the next thing you know, you won’t even recognize yourself when you look in the mirror.  You question how did you get to this dreadful point.  This rut that has been eating away at your existence.  Then your mind wanders to what is the point of all of this anyways.

Sorry for the negative post, but these past few weeks have been hard on me.  It seems wherever I try to escape, I find myself stuck listening to someone else’s problems, or witnessing tragic news on fb, or trying to calm my mom down.  I’m exhausted.  I want to be reminded of the “big picture”.  The one where you remember how truly wonderful this world really is.  We just get accustomed to seeing the bad that it spills over to our personal lives.  It’s a sad society that we live in.

It’s so sad that we can’t even enjoy our time here, in the present.  I realize through my heartache that I had no choice but to “live” past my broken relationship and figure out how to move on.  Traveling scared the life out of me.  So much that I knew I had to keep doing it again.  Some people may not think it’s a big deal, but to me, this is how I “live”.

I’m nervous about talking to my mom tonight.  I did warn her earlier in the week that I was planning to book another trip.  I know she needs me but she will be fine with my brothers.  They will check up on her while I’m gone.

Back to my recaps in July!  The weekend of the event at Warwick, my work party and rib fest was coming to an end.  That Sunday my friend wanted to catch up so we met at the nail salon where she had an appointment.  I haven’t hung out with her in a while since she started a new job.  I miss her dearly and we had some laughs.  She had some friends who were relocating to Kentucky, so we went to say our goodbyes at The Wit Hotel.  After cocktails we grew hungry and headed down to the Elephant and Castle for some chicken pot pies.  The weather was perfect to sit outside and share stories, but once we headed up to London House for more cocktails, it was too cold for us to enjoy the rooftop.  We settled for the rooftop at the Virgin Hotel were we continued laughing and playing around.  I miss that night…