March Madness Part 4

After celebrating St. Patrick's Day with my friends, I had a baby shower to attend the next day.  It was held at the Ukrainian Village Cultural Center.  I have to admit, I was a bit hungover, so I arrived a little late.  I was glad to see my former roommate and her family.  I lived with her many years ago, but we still keep in touch from time to time.  It was nice to see everyone doing well.  I finally felt better after I ate some food.  I ended up joining in with the fun activities.  Baby showers can be so much fun if you can get everyone to participate in the games!

Sitting in for some goofy pics!

My girlfriend is expecting twins!

My former roommate and her son.  My has he grown!

 



The following week was a tough one for me personally.  It was suggested by my mom's doctor that she goes see a therapist.  My heart sank when she told me over the phone.  For some reason, I was hoping what my mom was going through was "normal" and that things were going to get better soon.  But hearing those words from her made me realize that she was not handling his passing well.  She was having trouble sleeping at night.  She now was working but felt overwhelmed at times.  I would talk to her on the evenings to see how she was holding up, but sometimes she told me things that would break my heart.  Her pain was deep and I was helpless.
I told my friends what was going on, and they seemed optimistic about therapy.  They looked at it as a positive thing.  I was having a hard time seeing it that way, but looking back I was emotionally drained.  I couldn't feel optimistic about anything.  I missed my old life.  Feelings of guilt would rush in from time to time.    Even though I would escape by hanging out with my friends, I would come home feeling incredibly guilty.  How could I be so selfish when my mother was suffering?  I didn't know what I was suppose to do, suppose to feel, suppose to act.  I would look at my younger brothers and felt they weren't around as much.  I needed them to step in and check up on my mom more often.  I was getting angry at them because I was handling her breakdowns on my own.  "Well, you know how guys are," my friends would tell me.  What was that suppose to mean?  I'm the daughter so it's my job emotionally to be there for her?  I couldn't comprehend.
I went out with my friends for dinner one night to catch up on things when our other friend texted us to see if we wanted to go out.  Fedde Le Grand was playing at Parliament nightclub right down the street.  I jumped up and got excited.  I forgot how if felt to get excited about anything.  I LOVE dance music, and he was definitely a good dj to see.  Unfortunately I was the only one up for it, so I met up with my friend.  I had fun dancing.  I almost forgot how miserable I was earlier in the week.  Sometimes you need these breaks to take away the pain from time to time.  It won't change your situation, but it does remind you how wonderful life can be...sometimes.

Got a chance to say goodbye to a friend before she headed off to China for work!

We don't know the girl in the middle but she was fun...

Fedde Le Grand playing in the background.  I had fun dancing that night...