Plan B

I'm still finalizing my trip.  lol.  I know I'm making this a big deal but I had to figure out the details on what I am doing out there.  It's hard to plan something like this out on a whim.  I don't have a lot of cash to be throwing away and make hasty decisions.  I need to know what I am planning to do with my time in Greece and in Italy.  It's frustrating because sometimes I wish money was no object.  Then the world would be my oyster!!  But I live in the real world where I have to take care of myself, my responsibilities, and my well being.  I have printed up my maps; looked into my hotel and the area around it; printed out transportation information; and discussed my stay with my friend out in Italy.  I am extremely nervous.  I wish I wasn't such a wuss.  I pray I will begin to get excited.  Mid life nerves have won me over again.
There was a time when I wasn't so nervous about things.  I was pretty sure I knew what was "the plan".  Now, not so much.  Everything got shifted when me and my ex broke up.  We were working on getting our finances together so we could buy a place.  Around the time we ended things, he had worked out his bankruptcy.  Nice.  Time for the next move. 
Then boom.  Everything ended and I was left to figure out what to do next on my own.  I hadn't saved any money.  My best friend whom I've known since I was 16 years old had just gotten married to a woman who advised him not to speak to me anymore.  And my other friend met a man and had moved to Italy.  Just like that.  I lost not only my boyfriend of 7 years but my two closest friends in the whole wide world.  I was in so much emotional pain, I couldn't comprehend what was happening.  How did I miss this?
Maybe fate brought me here.  A lot of my friends ended up meeting their significant others as time moved on.  Of course they would pair up now, I was in a relationship for so long and they were single.  Now that tables have turned I had to figure out what to do with myself without them around as much.  Over the past 4 years I've been single, I've made new friends; dated, and have accustomed to doing things on my own for enjoyment.  I am trying to learn Italian so I could blend well with my girlfriend's friends out in Italy.  I go to concerts/ shows that I enjoy on my own without any interruption.  And once I week if I could, I practice new recipes on my own (I'm a terrible cook although my ex did eat at his own risk).  Traveling came out of no where because my friend pushed me to come out and visit her.  I would have never done it on my own if it wasn't for her. 
I came to the realization that maybe what I wanted for so long is just not in the stars for me.  If that's the case, then how do I fill up a life without my plan A?  What path should I head to now?  Where do I go from here?
For the time being, I will follow my passions.  The things I love to do.  Around my birthday I grew very sad, but then felt hopeful when I purchased my plane ticket to Greece.  It was short lived because some days I battled feelings of depression.  I finished the book "The Power of Your Subconscious Mind" and it helped me learn how to tap into my imagination.  With the use of meditation and prayer, it makes you focus on your wants and desires from your subconscious mind.  It takes a lot of work but it does make me feel better.  Painting a pleasurable picture in your head daily works wonders for your mind.
My job had our annual summer party downstairs outside at the lawn area last Friday.  This year we kept it low key.  The weather had dipped back into the 70s so I wore my jeans and an bright orange top for a pop of color.  Nothing major.  I truly enjoy where I work at and figured I could hangout for a bit even though my cough was acting up that day.  They handed out Garrett's popcorn which was a big hit.  It was bbq themed.  We had some good times playing around with pokemon go.  That helped liven it up a bit.  lol.  Until next time! 

Great turnout!

They had bags!



Good times....

I found a pokemon!