EbTheRedHead: Mother's Day

Sunday was Mother's Day and I snapped at my mom. Yes, it sounds truly horrible, but I couldn't help it. It came out of no where. Part of me knows I didn't do the right thing. Yet I am proud of it. I want her to be aware that I AM AWARE that something is not right. Let me explain...
I told my brothers ahead of time that I wanted to take my mom out to dinner for Mother's Day. I figured if she works (which she usually does on Sundays) that it would be nice for her to come home and not worry about dinner. I know it's traditional to take mom out for brunch, but dinner would better for us and it wouldn't be as crowded. Let's face it. Sometimes parents can be tricky. Because I know my mom so well, I knew she would put up a fight and try to knock the idea down. "You don't have to do anything. Everyday is Mother's Day." I wouldn't take no for an answer. I told her we would pick her up and that's that.
When I went with my mom to her doctor's appointment two weeks ago, I got a chance to enjoy her company more because we were out of the house. I am terribly allergic to her dog, not to mention my asthma kicks in as well. She hates putting the dog away because he yelps so much and she feels guilty. Meanwhile me and my other brother are dying and have to always cut our visits short to an hour or so. We both take 24 hour allergy medication but those things only work for 2 hours max. Then my wheezing sets in and I have to go. It's a nuisance because we can't stay as long as we'd like. Her dog means the world to her so it puts all of us in a bind. What can you do?
I figured my plan was fool proof but I could tell that she looked tired from work and really didn't want to go back out for dinner. We settled at one of our favorite restaurants that's a few blocks away. Las Tablas is a favorite of Chicagoans for good Colombian food since 1991. We started to look over the menu. I have been craving their chicken plate for months and was excited to order. My mom, not so much. "I think I'm going to have the soup," she said. "SOUP??? We didn't come all the way here for you to order soup!! Order something mommy! You need to eat!" I think I took everyone by surprise when I snapped but I couldn't help it. She's lost a lot of weight and it's noticeable. She had soup that day when I treated her to lunch after her doctor's appointment. She needs to eat even if she doesn't feel like it. I think back to some of our nightly conversations where she's mentioned how tired she is; how she's going straight to bed and not having any dinner because she's not hungry. She's tired because she's depressed. It sucks because for over 4 weeks they have scheduled her days off separately and not back to back. She is so close to retiring but she's not getting the proper rest that she deserves. She's a 65 year old woman who wants her full retirement. She is pushing herself. She's also gone through so much in a short amount of time. She was going to therapy at one point but because of her work schedule changing her days off from week to week, she had trouble keeping her appointments.
I know she's depressed and I feel terrible about it. I also think she has her good days and bad days. We managed to continue our dinner and had some laughs. There was someone at the restaurant who was taking pictures of all the families. I thought it was a great idea and she loved her photo. It was a sweet gesture on their part. We continued catching up even when our dinner was over. That's the one thing that did make the dinner impersonal. We weren't quite in our dining room. We were at a restaurant and we had to make our way out of there.
Yesterday we met up again at my mom's house for dinner. She had both her days off back to back again, so she wanted to make dinner for us. I made sure I took my 24 hour Allegra before I got there. We had a nice time gossiping on family stuff. She looked good. In a few short months, her life will get a lot easier. I can't wait...