Her Smile

Recapping February as quickly as I can!  For once I would like my blog to be up to date.  One of the things that always gets me is not knowing what the upcoming year will bring.  Now that we’re in March, I’m finally getting comfortable with the plans I need to make.  So many changes have taken place in such a short amount of time.  I often feel I can’t keep up with my own life.  The bad part is there are things I do want to accomplish, but I get held up with other things.

For the past few years, my mother became the focal point of my life.  It took me by surprise how much I want her to be ok again.  Last week was the anniversary of her husband’s death.  It’s been 2 years since he’s been gone, but it feels much longer than that.  He was sick the last 5 years of his life.  This affected my mother deeply.  She switched jobs to take care of him, nursed him until he died, and then had to return back to the workplace to resume her responsibilities.  She tried therapy  briefly, and now she has fully retired.  I do not remember the last time I saw my mother happy.  All I see is the constant worry on her face, and it makes me feel helpless.

There have been moments when her face lights up and she braves a smile.  And it warms my heart.  For once I can feel she is ok to be living.  I worry that she will get depressed and want to “give up” on life.  I know she feels it’s been unfair to her.  I pray that she can look beyond the pain and see how wonderful things can still be, despite her husband being gone.

The 2^nd week in February we decided to take my brother out for his birthday.  Since his actual birthday fell on a Thursday we knew Friday would work well with everyone.  We reached out to my step brother and he agreed to meet up with us at dinner.  We chose Las Tablas at 6 corners because it’s been a family favorite for years, plus they have GREAT food!  My brother was surprised when we had the live band play Happy Birthday to him.  And along with my brother smiling from ear to ear, was my mom.  It’s no secret she treats my brothers differently than me, but she truly loves my big brother.  I haven’t seen her smile like that in years!  I felt overwhelmed with joy just to see my family smiling, laughing, happy, just for one night.  We needed this.

Love their food!!