In My Feelings

Sorry I have been MIA.  My feelings are getting the best of me.  My birthday is next week and I am in a funk.  Actually, it started back in mid-May.  I hate that I get this way.  I’m beginning to dread my birthday and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I think I figured out why that is.  I think it’s a combination of getting older among other things.  There also was an incident in my past that has led me to believe I will never truly celebrate my birthday again.

My breakup started around my birthday.  To make matters worse, it lasted all that summer.  Sometimes I get flashbacks from summer festivities which remind me where I was 7 years ago.  I can’t believe it’s been that long and it still hurts.  It’s not only the fact that I thought things were fine with us.  It’s how everything slowly unraveled and I couldn’t do anything about it.  I was completely helpless.

I realize now how much I sacrificed to make him “happy”.  This is something that gets me upset from time to time.  I finally learned that was the wrong thing to do in a relationship.  It does not serve anything except bring insecurities to the surface.  We should have dealt with it back then when the issue arose.   

Ever since our breakup I slowly dived into traveling because that was one of the things I didn’t do when I was with him.  Now I can’t stop planning my next trip.  I love browsing through sites to get travel inspiration.  As of now, I am planning a weekend getaway next week to see an art exhibit in Detroit.  I can’t wait.

Back when I returned from Turkey, my best friend from Italy was coming into Chicago two days later.  I went to work that Wednesday and met up with my friend for dinner the next day.  They stayed at a hotel in Streeterville and ended up having dinner reservations 2 blocks away.  I went home from work, showered up, and then hopped in an uber.  We ended up at Gyu-Kaku Japanese bbq.  My friend’s husband grilled the meat.  It was delish.  I wish my friend stayed in town longer, but I understand they had to leave soon.  I miss the times we use to share when we were younger!  We would take weekend getaways to New York, Miami or Vegas.  I miss our girl time together…

When you are trying to make up for lost time...

Since I felt I didn’t get a chance to do much the day that I landed, I was glad I had a good night’s rest.  I showered up and headed to the café down the street for my croissant and latte.  I got to the Opera a little after 12pm.  There wasn’t much of a line yet, but there were groups of students everywhere.  I didn’t wait too long to get inside.  This opera house is truly extravagant!  I was amazed at how much detail was put in place.  I took a bunch of photos there and even made it to the gift shop to pick up something for my mom.  

I felt the Pantheon was a good choice for my next stop.  It took me a while to figure out where it was.  I was getting frustrated, but eventually I found the little street that led me up to the building.  Again, tons of students everywhere, but I walked in right away.  Talk about grand!  It was one of the most impressive city buildings I have ever laid eyes on.  I was a bit confused on what the pendulum was about.  Regardless, I left to find some crepes.  I was dying for something sweet.

Towards the metro stop I remembered I saw a man selling crepes and decided to have one with nutella.  By now the sun was beating hard, so I headed to Luxembourg Garden to have a seat and enjoy the view.  People were sunbathing everywhere.

I was excited to find out that it was barely 3pm.  I felt I could still sneak in another museum.  I headed back on the metro and exited at the Notre Dame stop.  I looked at the cathedral at a glance and noticed the long line of tourists waiting to get inside.  Who knew that was the last time I would see the Notre Dame in one piece?

I had to walk along the Seine river to get down to the other side to the musee de l’orangerie.  I was worried I wasn’t going to be able to get inside.  I wasn’t sure how long the wait would be.  I asked a bicycle-cab how much would he charge to take me over there.  His rates were listed at 15 euros.  Unfortunately I did not have enough cash with me and I preceded to walk away.  The man stopped me and asked how much I had.  We came to an agreement at 10 euros.  I was not aware they can negotiate. 

What a ride!  It felt good to be off of my feet.  He got me there in no time.  The line was long (by now it was later in the day and that was to be expected).  I was relieved when they let me in.  It was close to 4pm and the museum closed at 5pm.  I did something that got me in a bit of trouble with security.  I found a wall plug and used it to charge my phone.  I HAD TO!!  I couldn’t be here with a phone that was dying out!  I wanted to take my pictures.  Regardless, I charged it for 15 minutes before security yelled at me.  Off I went!

I found the main room of Monet’s Water Lilies right away.  It was amazing!!  I absolutely loved it!  I walked through the rooms and stared at each of the paintings.  This museum was quick to navigate.  I left shortly before 5pm.

I made my way back to my hotel and quickly changed.  My friend and I had made plans for dinner.  I made it back to his place to pick him up and we headed over to Rue Mabillon to Marcello.  I joked to him that he ended up taking me to an Italian restaurant, but the food was very good.  We talked through the night about the changes that were coming up for him.  I like hearing a different perspectives.  It took me a moment to realize he was pretty concerned about the decisions he was making, but I feel confident that things will be fine.    

Unfortunately, by the time I made it back to my hotel, my other friend was messaging me to come out.  We had made plans for tomorrow, but now she’s out and about and wanted to meet up.  I couldn’t do it.  My feet were killing me.  I turned her down and we settled to meet the next day.

The Luck of the Irish

This week I’m heading to my next adventure.  Obviously I’m very nervous about my flight but I’m constantly keeping myself busy.  My nerves were pretty bad last night.  Hence, time to wrap up March’s events!

After that horrible sickness, I started to feel myself again.  I made a haircut appointment on St. Patty’s Day Saturday because I wasn’t sure I was in the mood to join in the festivities.  My friends were letting me know they were going to meet up for the dying of the Chicago River.  I knew there would be a time restriction, and told them I would meet up afterwards.  I was surprised they were still out.  Needless to say, the group had dwindled down.  We stayed at Celeste for a while until my friend grew hungry.  She ran into another friend who was heading to Maple & Ash.  He invited us all along and we jumped into a Lyft ride and headed down there.  I felt so underdressed when we walked in!  It’s definitely a fancy place but we were still wearing green for St. Patrick’s Day.  My friends ordered appetizers and everything was delish.  It was good times despite not celebrating traditionally at a pub.  Lol. 

WhirlyBall Birthday Party

Back in March I attended a surprise birthday party.  She had no idea her friends and family were planning this.  I wasn’t sure at first if I could make it.  I knew I had some errands to run.  Once I realized the party was not until later than expected, I knew I was good to go.  I’m just glad I didn’t walk in on the actual unveiling of the surprise.  Lol

I did not want to participate in whirlyball but had to since the teams were outnumbered.  I am TERRIBLE at sports.  Of any kind.  In this case, not many were having the best luck with their carts.  It’s hard to navigate if you can’t control your cart.  I was going backwards for some time!

We had cupcakes and cocktails and then we decided to bar hop towards Courtland’s Garage.  Our friend was enjoying her birthday and we didn’t want to stop the celebration just yet.

Since that weekend was Daylight Savings weekend, I ended up not feeling well on Monday and didn’t go to work.  I don’t know what I had, but I made my way to work Tuesday, only to call in sick Wednesday.  I was out of it the remaining of the week.  I have not been that sick in years.

I WANT ONE MARGARITA

A few weeks ago my mom friends wanted to step out for a margarita.  Since I don’t see them very often, I agreed to tag along.  One of them was driving in from the suburbs, so it gave me a chance to throw something on and run out the door.  I had met up earlier for brunch with our other friend.  I felt bad because I was tired from the night before.  That was the night I saw Kaskade with my brother.  I took it easy the rest of the day.  Now that I was going out for drinks again, I couldn’t help but wonder if people were tired of being stuck inside.  Our Chicago winters drag out until April.  Yesterday alone was in the high 30s!  It makes you want to escape to somewhere warm.

We went to our usual spot Garcia’s by Lawrence.  This Mexican restaurant has been around for over 20 years!  Great food with a lively atmosphere.  Everyone knows about Garcia’s.

I had a nice time catching up with my friends.  The next day, I did manage to go to church.

The Age Of Aquarius

I’m not going to lie.  January was a long month, and winter is not giving up anytime soon.  I’m having travel withdrawals.  I basically stayed in the living for a couple of weeks while my bedroom aired out.  At first I didn’t mind because my room doesn’t warm up as much as the rest of the apartment.  Chicago had some frigid temperatures.  I was fine sleeping on the couch as long as I was cozy.  But I DID miss my bed.  

I have also been determined to build my savings.  I did some overtime for work, and that felt good as well.  I just want to save some money before I book something.  I’m getting the travel itch BIG TIME.

Towards the end of January, our friend from Michigan was in town to celebrate her birthday.  It was going to snow a lot that day, and luckily me and my friend  got to the suburbs in good time.  We were one of the first ones there.  Other people showed up little by little and our party grew bigger.  There are so many changes coming up for everyone.  I’m curious where this year will take us…

Aprés le noël soirée

Since the holidays fell on Monday and Tuesday, work resumed that Wednesday.  It was nice having a 3 day work-week.  My brother out of the blue texted me that my Dad’s wife wanted us to come over for dinner.  It wasn’t expected, but I figured I should go because I wanted to see my Dad.  Well it turns out that he wasn’t going to be at the dinner.  I was upset at first.  I had other errands to run and I made the exception on the hopes of seeing my father.  The next day I thought about it some more.  I told my brother in the future, I wouldn’t mind having dinner with my Dad’s wife but I couldn’t guarantee that I could make it to every one of them.  Sometimes the internal dynamics of blended-families gets complicated because you are not aware of who you should be devoted to.  It leaves me and my brothers confused and we sometimes hurt people’s feelings trying to figure out what to do.

That Friday I had dinner plans with my friend who was in town.  She was trying to get a group together and settled on Café Con Leche restaurant in Logan Square.  Some of her friends that showed up use to work together at a retail store that is no longer around anymore.  It seems that my friend was having a blast seeing everyone.  I need to visit her out at the East coast one of these days.

Halloween Parade

This year Halloween Day fell on a Wednesday.  I started to get stressed out about my upcoming trip to New York and other things.  I used Sunday to do laundry and pack my things slowly on Monday and Tuesday.  I also snuck in my workouts since I was very tense.  I use light weights when I’m in this condition.  I like to do the workout movements so I could unleash my tension.  At this point I wanted Friday to come sooner rather than later.

My friend insisted on celebrating on actual Halloween.  There were parties all over, but most of them were late night.  The one that caught her attention was at the House of Blues.  I still had to come home and change but I had a migraine earlier during work.  I took something for it, and it did go away for a bit.  But once I was getting ready, I felt it coming back again.  I had to run out of the house because it was getting late.  By this time, everyone was meeting up at Boys Town to watch the Halloween Parade.  I made my way over there instead.

Luckily I found my friends because it was pretty chaotic when I got there.  The parade was about to start.  It was short but sweet.  People had to sign up in order to participate for the parade, but I have to say, some of the costumes were hilarious!  We all had a good laugh.

The parade lasted for about 30 minutes.  We walked around and tried to figure out what to do next.  Apparently at Fulton Market Kitchen they were having an event.  We took an uber over there but it was still pretty early.  They were having a whiskey tasting and my friends participated while I sat it out.  By now my migraine was throbbing and I tried my best to enjoy the rest of the evening, but secretly I wanted to go home.  We eventually left Fulton Market Kitchen and found ourselves at Punch Bowl Social.  Again, we walked in and the place was completely dead.  By this time we assumed most of the parties were going to get better late night, but I wanted to go home.  It was 10pm and my phone died out as well.  I said my goodbyes and took the train back home.  So much for that.

Halloween Weekend 2018

On Halloween Saturday, (even though Halloween was technically on Wednesday this year), our friend had a house party at her boyfriend’s place.  I luckily had a costume on time.  I had ordered it two weeks earlier and was relieved when it was delivered.  Talk about cutting it close!

Our friend from California was in town that weekend as well.  She wanted to meet up with us beforehand and we decided brunch was the way to go.  I made my way to Café con Leche and the girls already had a table waiting.  It was fun catching up with everyone.  We laughed a lot.  Our other friend brought her two kids and it was fun seeing them play around.  They’re growing up so fast!

Afterwards, one of the girls still needed some accessories for her costume.  We went to Party City to see what they had.  It was crazy packed in there!  Everyone was doing the same thing!  We waited a bit in line but that’s a reminder to everyone who procrastinates about things like this.

We all hung out at our friend’s place for a bit.  I went home and decided at the last minute that I had time to get my leg workout in.  I rushed to the gym and did my thing.  What I didn’t realize was how much time and preparation took place to get my costume ready.  Since it was in the package I had to iron it out but it was in bad shape.  My friends picked up me at a later time and we made our way over there.  They had on face paint and were also rushing to get their costumes ready.

Once inside, it was a hoot seeing everyone!  I love Halloween for that reason only!  

Labor Day Weekend Monday

I did not go out in the end.  I went home after my mom’s dinner.  My friend went out and had fun with her new friend.  I’m glad.  I bummed out in the morning until I received a text from my other friend who lives down the street from me.  She wanted to throw a mini BBQ at her place.  Nothing big.  I loved that idea!  Grilling on Labor Day!

I got ready since she mentioned to get to her place by 12:30pm.  But once I was ready, I heard something outside.  Yup.  You guessed it.  It started storming again.  These sneaky scattered storms have been playing tricks on us all weekend.  I texted her to let her know I will be over once the storm passes through.  Once it did, I walked over to 7-11 to grab some prosecco for the BBQ. 

She had a friend over who also has kids.  Her twins were playing with my friend’s daughter.  It was fun watching them interact with one another.  My friend would run outside to check on the grill, but at one point she came back drenched.  It was pouring again, and this time it was heavy.  Unfortunately her husband came home from work and found flooding in the basement.  We felt bad because we had no idea something was happening downstairs.  Once the rain passed by me and her friend decided to leave.  We knew they had more important issues to deal with and we didn’t want to be in the way.  This rain was something else!  Regardless, I loved my chicken sandwich!  Lol

Night Market at Fullerton Beach

After my trip I jump started with work.  During the weekend I did my usual errands.  My friend wanted to catch up with me so I met up with her in Lincoln Park.  There was a Night Market taking place by the theater at the lake near Fullerton beach.  It was a hot weekend so I wore a strapless dress and flat espadrilles so I wouldn’t be uncomfortable with the heat.  This was the first time I attended Night Market which was sponsored by the Chicago Tribune.  They had food, games and a live dj playing top 40.  There was even a seating area in front of the skyline.  It was nice seeing my friend.  We walked back to her apartment and chilled out before heading to the Happy Camper in Old Town.  Some of her friends were meeting up at for a birthday party.  I’ve never been so I tagged along.  I liked the fact we didn’t stay out too late.  I wasn’t ready to paint the town red…