In My Feelings

Sorry I have been MIA.  My feelings are getting the best of me.  My birthday is next week and I am in a funk.  Actually, it started back in mid-May.  I hate that I get this way.  I’m beginning to dread my birthday and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I think I figured out why that is.  I think it’s a combination of getting older among other things.  There also was an incident in my past that has led me to believe I will never truly celebrate my birthday again.

My breakup started around my birthday.  To make matters worse, it lasted all that summer.  Sometimes I get flashbacks from summer festivities which remind me where I was 7 years ago.  I can’t believe it’s been that long and it still hurts.  It’s not only the fact that I thought things were fine with us.  It’s how everything slowly unraveled and I couldn’t do anything about it.  I was completely helpless.

I realize now how much I sacrificed to make him “happy”.  This is something that gets me upset from time to time.  I finally learned that was the wrong thing to do in a relationship.  It does not serve anything except bring insecurities to the surface.  We should have dealt with it back then when the issue arose.   

Ever since our breakup I slowly dived into traveling because that was one of the things I didn’t do when I was with him.  Now I can’t stop planning my next trip.  I love browsing through sites to get travel inspiration.  As of now, I am planning a weekend getaway next week to see an art exhibit in Detroit.  I can’t wait.

Back when I returned from Turkey, my best friend from Italy was coming into Chicago two days later.  I went to work that Wednesday and met up with my friend for dinner the next day.  They stayed at a hotel in Streeterville and ended up having dinner reservations 2 blocks away.  I went home from work, showered up, and then hopped in an uber.  We ended up at Gyu-Kaku Japanese bbq.  My friend’s husband grilled the meat.  It was delish.  I wish my friend stayed in town longer, but I understand they had to leave soon.  I miss the times we use to share when we were younger!  We would take weekend getaways to New York, Miami or Vegas.  I miss our girl time together…

New York City Day Two

I had the scare of my life at my hotel room.  Someone knocked on my door at 3am!  I must have jumped out of my bed.  I asked “Who is it?” and heard a mumble at the door, but then I yelled back “Ummm.  I think YOU got the WRONG ROOM!”  I heard another mumble and then complete silence.  By the time I got the nerve to check the peep hole, he was gone.  Talk about a New York moment!  I was scared shitless!

In the morning I slept in later than I wanted to, mostly because of the door incident.  I didn’t realize that my friend had already messaged me that he was waiting for me by Battery Island.  I jumped in the shower and got ready as fast as I could.  Apparently he was waiting for me at a Starbucks, but I ended up at the wrong one.  I felt bad because I knew he had been waiting for a while.  I jumped in an Uber to save time heading to the other Starbucks.  Luckily it was the right one and we went over to the ticket booth to purchase our ferry tickets.  It was set to sail in 15 minutes!  Whew!

I grabbed some coffee and we found a spot outside on the boat.  Obviously I was getting anxious again.  I had to sit down when it took off, but I did manage some courage to get up once in a while to take some pictures once the Statue of Liberty was closer.  My friend was at the end of the boat snapping pictures himself.

We docked and then walked over but found out the hard way that we couldn’t get to the Statue.  We had to purchase tickets online and it was sold out.  So much for that.  At that point we took some pictures surrounding Lady Liberty and went back on the boat to head to Ellis Island. 

Ellis Island was very informative!  We spent hours there, learning about how the United States came about.  They also included where most of the migrants settled in the U.S.  We even watched a short movie about the conditions the boats were in for traveling to the New World.  It put a lot of things into perspective for me, especially since my family came from Guatemala.  

Afterwards, we headed back to the boat and discussed what to do next.  By this time, it was 2pm and we were getting hungry.  We decided on Italian food and a fellow passenger suggested we head to the Upper East side.  I yelped a couple of restaurants, but we decided to check again once we arrived in the neighborhood to get a better idea on where to go.

We settled on Via Della Pace restaurant and luckily there weren’t too many people inside.  We were taken care of right away.  My friend enjoyed his pasta and mine was absolutely delish!  I ate the whole bowl!  We knew we weren’t too far from Soho and my friend needed to purchase some headphones for the marathon.  We found the Apple store and while he spoke to a sales rep, I had the opportunity to charge my phone.  I was having the worst luck with my phone the whole time I was there.  I needed to charge it constantly.  I hardly used the data!  Sometimes taking photos drained my phone.  It was becoming a nuisance.  The sales rep suggested for me to purchase a new battery, but I figured I would do this when I got back to Chicago.

My friend decided on some earphones, but he still needed a sweatband for his forehead for the race.  We found a Nike store and looked around.  I didn’t realize how many people were at Soho!  There were so many tourists shopping around.  My friend was surprised I wasn’t shopping myself, but I wanted to make sure he got what he needed for the marathon.

We headed back to his hotel in Times Square to rest up for a bit.  His roommate was there and he was getting his things together for the marathon.  Unfortunately, it was Daylight Savings weekend, and the time was going to change at 2am.  They had to get up at 4am to get ready and have a marathon breakfast buffet the hotel was hosting.  Then their charter bus was going to head out at 6am to Staten Island. 

My friend got his things ready for the marathon as well.  He then grew hungry again (since we had the pasta early afternoon).  He knew he had to sleep early tonight, so we headed to Mamma Mia pizzeria down the street from his hotel.  We ordered a margaritha pizza to share and then called it a night.  I went back to my hotel but since I wasn’t doing the race myself, I took time to walk into some souvenir shops along the way.  I also got a chance to pass by Radio City Music Hall.  Their Christmas Tree was already up!

Thirsty Thursday at Star of Siam

I don’t get a chance to go out very often during the week.  A friend of mine wanted to meet up for dinner and I suggested Star of Siam.  I got there a bit early and left a reservation time for them before I headed out to Sable Kitchen and Bar.  They were across the street from one another.  I ordered a glass of rosé and spoke to a tourist at the bar.  She was visiting from Philadelphia.  I could see the stars in her eyes whenever she talked about how big Chicago was from her city.  She looked very excited to be here.  I sometimes feel bad that I don’t share the same enthusiasm about Chicago like I use to.  Our city has gone through tremendous changes over the years and I miss how things use to be.  We use to have very diverse neighborhoods, but now with gentrification happening everywhere, some places are beginning to look “the same”.  Oh well. 

Once my friend arrived we made our way to Star of Siam.  I wanted to eat a bit healthier, so I ordered the chicken pot stickers.  But that peanut sauce had me craving more and more.  I ended up eating the whole thing!  So much for that…

Detroit Institute Of Arts

The weekend I was visiting my friend who moved near Detroit, she warned me her and her husband had tickets to see Sesame Street at the Fox Theater.  Their son absolutely adored Sesame Street and was infatuated with Cookie Monster.  I mean, who wouldn’t be??  Lol.  She suggested dropping me and her friend to the Detroit Institute of Arts museum since it was near the theater.  We could kill some time there while they enjoyed the show.  Her husband made an amazing breakfast for us, and we quickly got ready afterwards.

Me and her friend walked in and were mesmerized by the Diego Rivera Detroit Industry murals.  We were probably in that room for over 30 minutes!  I was completely blown away by its size and detailing.  We slowly made our way around the other exhibits and took our time visiting the artwork of our favorite artists.  I’m glad her friend was just as interested in art as I was.  Sometimes it’s hard to go with a person who isn’t interested in this kind of stuff.

We also refueled at the restaurant/ café located in the museum.  I enjoyed people watching and despite it being a Saturday, was surprised how many people were around.  I think the Institute is a place many locals come to hangout (since it’s free for them).  Regardless, me and her friend had a good time.

When our friends came to pick us up, it was already late in the afternoon.  Her husband took us along a driving tour of their suburb.  We decided to head to a restaurant they’ve been wanting to check out for a while, and see if we could all get in.

Sure enough, there was a line out the door.  We waited for over an hour.  It was a Venezuelan restaurant and had great reviews.  I wanted to try their arepas.  Luckily, we didn’t wait too long for our food and everything was delish.  Unfortunately they did not serve alcohol, and we wanted to get back to their house for some wine they had received as a gift.

We spent the rest of the evening watching movies and drinking wine and catching up.  Her friend had an early morning flight out, but we stayed up past 1am just talking!

Carnivale Celebration

I’ve been a total mess this week and it’s hard to look back at events that happened in October.  Since I’ve been back from my trip, I feel very anxious.  We had a colleague pass away suddenly 2 weeks ago and it has affected all of us here at work.  I worked with him and the thought of not seeing him around was hard.  I found out more details of his passing on Friday but had dinner plans later for a birthday celebration.  I wanted to get out of them.

I felt bad because my friends were very excited to get together that day.  Since I couldn’t get emotional at work being at the front desk I had to rush to get home to get ready for the party.  I did not have time to express my feelings being rushed.  I purposely did not wear mascara because I felt the tears coming, but I tried my hardest not to cry.  By the time my friend picked me up to head downtown, I couldn’t help it anymore.  Luckily, she was very sweet listening to me vent.  Our focus afterwards was for me to calm down so we could see our friends.  I absolutely did not want to ruin my friend’s birthday.  We quickly said a prayer, and then walked into Carnival restaurant with our heads up high.

Our friend had a great time.  We laughed and random memories we had with her throughout the years.  I know because it’s hard for all of us to get together, I did not want my issue to become the topic of conversation.  This was her moment and she enjoyed every moment of it.  Once we finished dinner, some of our group went home but a few of us decided to tough it out.  We went to Ace Hotel for more cocktails and shenanigans.  In the end, you have to live for the moment, no matter what you’re going through.

Marching into March

Sorry I have not been posting as much.  I did something rather crazy again and booked another flight to Europe.  I was messaging my friend in Italy how much I miss her so much and wanted to get away.  I figured this time it would be easier on my pockets if I traveled to see her in the Springtime.  The summer anywhere in the world is pretty pricey and I saw some good deals searching the web.  We decided mid March before she gets busy again with work.  I lucked out on a good deal for the flight, so let’s see how this pans out for the both of us.  I love the hot summers in Italy, but this would be different to experience Italy with spring weather.

The last weekend in January, me and my friends got together to catch up with one another.  We were still feeling Trump’s wrath, and it was nice to get our minds off other things going on in our lives.  My friends were curious about my Miami trip during New Year’s.  Yup, that’s how long we haven’t seen each other.  Too bad I didn’t give them enough juicy gossip, but it was indeed gossip in the end.  I like sharing my craziness with the girls.  I miss them a lot. 

We met up at Garcia’s in the northside.  It’s been one of our favorite restaurants to hang out in throughout the years.  We giggled over margaritas and then called it a night.

Once I got home, a friend of mine wanted to meet up downtown.  I haven’t spoken to him in a while and I wasn’t in the mood to end my Saturday night just yet.  I took an uber and headed down to Booze Box on Randolph.  The one good thing about talking to him is our love of fashion.  We talked about clothes for a bit.  I haven’t been out in weeks since everything happened at work.  It was nice to be out and people watch.

He took me to Arbella next in River North.  It was a pretty restaurant with a good crowd inside.  We had some drinks there before heading off to Estate.  There we danced up a storm and had a blast.  It was just what I needed to end January and look ahead.  Too many adjustments and not enough time to deal with the changes was beginning to affect me.

Much needed margarita with the girls...

 

Later on, admiring my friend's Yeezys...

FUN FILLED WEEKEND part 1

Out of no where, you get these weekends where there is too much going on.  You don't even know where to start.  I hope everyone had a great holiday.  It's pretty slow at work so far.  I'm assuming it's because of Spring Break (?).  Regardless, my staycation so far has been filled with family and friends.  I think I packed in too much action as usual.  I definitely need to monitor my spending before I get into trouble again.  My financial goals are coming together and I don't want to risk setting myself back.
Good Friday was pretty quiet.  I didn't do much.  Saturdays are usually my cleaning days, but this time, I went for a run instead.  The weather was good for it (for a change) and I've been itching to do some cardio.  Boy am I out of shape!!  My asthma was going strong.  I'm glad I got a chance to try to push myself out there.  I really want to get into a routine whenever Spring decides to come to Chicago.  lol.  I apologize for not blogging as much this week.  Still feeling under the weather.  I'll post part 2 soon, I promise!

I finally ran the 606!  I entered on North Avenue in Wicker.  Perfect day for a run!

Had some Korean tacos at En Hakkore.  They were delish!  I can't wait to go back!



The calm before the storm...

Back in September, I spent the first part in Italy, and the rest of the month attending birthday parties.  Lol.  Once October came around, things had slowed down a bit.  I'm glad it did.  Sometimes you want to be able to stop and smell the roses.  I got a chance to finish a new self-help book, as well as focus on trying to get my apartment ready for the winter (if it ever shows up).  It took forever, but I finally found a picture I could hang over my couch in the living room.  After countless hours spent surfing the net, I narrowed it down to one.  I'm glad how it turned out too.  I knew I wanted something abstract.  From that point it was just a matter of finding the one I liked to go with my décor.  It was an interesting process, because it's so time consuming.  I didn't want to settle for any old picture!  And that's how it should be!  The last thing I wanted to do was to have something hang on my wall for the sake of covering up my wall.  It's easy to get "stuck" with things, but you should have some passion behind the madness.
Regardless, the first weekend in October was pretty chilled out.  Me and my friends from time to time like to have mass group textes to see how we're doing.  Since so many events are happening in everyone's lives, it's a nice way to catch up to one another.  Our friend from the bridal shower at the Drake hotel invited us to come over and check out her new apartment.  She moved back in the city at the end of the summer and is also in the process of planning a wedding.  We drove down to Downer's Grove for a light dinner party.  She cooked with one of her presents from the shower:  a brand new Williams Sonoma iron skillet!  We had a good time catching up.  It was nice not to do anything too crazy. 

I love my birthday scarf!  I wore it for the dinner party.

I wore it with my cotton twill moto jacket.  The weather was changing around this time.  We had light rain/ mist and crisp weather.  Wasn't "cold" yet.

One of her bridal shower gifts.  She bought some cheese and crackers for appetizers. 

Magiano's has a nice spread!

Good times hanging out with the ladies!

The following weekend things DID get a little crazy (but that's my life, you know?).  The funny thing about those nights, they're unexpected.  You can never plan for those, but remember, anything is possible in this city.  I saw on Facebook that one of my favorite spots in the city was closing down.  Japonais!  Definitely one of the best restaurants in Chicago for sushi.  But over the years, with it's massive space, was getting harder and harder to fill up.  There are always new places opening up in the city.  And with Chicago's fickle crowd, you can never tell which ones will bring the patrons back.  Japonais was around for over 10 years, which is a huge accomplishment!  The fact that it lasted so long is impressive in my eyes.  Plus, with it's dock area patio, boats would sail up and park for a quick bite to eat.

I headed down to Public House and met up with some friends who were watching the Cubs game.  At this point, there was hope we could make it to the world series.  But my friends were done for the evening.  That's when I decided to head down to Japonais for their closing party by myself to see who I would run into.  Since I use to go there regularly 10 years ago, I figured I'll run into some familiar faces.  Did I ever!!  I was glad I saw my old friends I use to party with back in the day.  We had some good times.  We decided to go out and make a night of it since we haven't hungout with one another in sooooooooooo long.  We jumped around to Parliament, then ended the night in Cuvee.  I had a blast!  For a spilt second I felt I traveled back into time.  I miss that feeling... 

Missed these guys!!

At Japonais for their closing party.

Headed over to Parliament and met up with some more friends...

Getting silly at Cuvée

What a loooooong night!!  Peace out!