Do you the funny thing about my life? Sometimes things would go surprisingly well, and then out of nowhere, the ball drops. I absolutely HATE this about myself. I was very stressed when I flew to New York, but once I came back, I felt I had a better outlook once again. And then, BAM. I get completely knocked off of my feet. A lot of times, I feel I bring this on myself. I am the common denominator in all of these scenarios, so I can’t ignore the fact that I might have something to do with this. It’s frustrating, because I never get to enjoy the good times for long. There’s always something lurking around the corner.
These past few years on my own, have been much tougher than I anticipated. I never realized how much I depended on my ex to help me keep going whenever things would get bad. Going through hardships without him have shown me what a great support system I had before. Now that I’m on my own, I miss that so much.
I am very fortunate to have good friends around me, but it’s those dark moments when I’m alone in my apartment that get me every time. The insomnia, the nightmares, the burst of tears out of nowhere are haunting me once again. It makes me miss New York so much. That weekend was a sweet surprise and now it feels so far away.
The following weekend after I saw my friend at Baptise and Bottle my mom decided to share some news that I was not fond of whatsoever. Since then, our relationship has been strained, but we’ve managed to talk around our issues. I’m hoping for the new year things would be different between us, but for the most part, our relationship has always been up and down. I am coming to terms realizing that this will probably be the way it is forever since it’s never been a smooth ride with her. I’m sharing this information with anyone out there that might be having a hard time this holiday season. This will pass. Luckily next year is right around the corner, and I vow once again, to hope for better things.
I wasn’t feeling very sociable after hearing my mom’s news, but a friend wanted to take me out for a drink at Scowflow Lounge. I wish I had opted to stay in, but he was hesitant, and I agreed to it. For the most part, this bar was in Bucktown and it was packed. Luckily we got a table and were seated next to the fireplace. I loved it because I’m always cold, and at one point, a server came around and was serving freshly baked cookies. This was a nice touch and it made me feel a bit better. Sometimes it’s the little things that can make a hard moment not seem so difficult.
