New Year’s Eve 2018

I am recapping New Year’s Eve.  I knew offhand I wanted to do something low key.  I have over the years gone to:  hotel parties, clubs, bars, celebrated in Miami, went to crowded house parties, you name it.  And I’ve had a blast.  But due to the high volume of work parties, birthday parties, celebrations and get-togethers I’ve experienced over the past 3 months, I was too burnt out to do anything big.  I was relieved my aunt (who will be retiring soon) wanted to host New Year’s Eve at her place with my uncle.  Since they will be relocating out of the country, I knew this might be one of our last get-togethers at their place.  I said yes.

I did my yearly ritual of walking around the block with a packed suitcase to promote more travels this upcoming year.  I know it sounds crazy, but I did not want to miss out on any opportunity not to book something.  I just want the universe to see that I’m serious!  Lol.  I also stuffed my pockets of my sequin blazer with euros and U.S dollars to promote wealth throughout the year.  At dinner I carefully ate my 12 grapes to promote luck, and felt good about not missing anything important.

The ONE THING that did make me nervous was that I did some cleaning around the apartment.  I’ve read two sides to this, one that you SHOULD have a clean apartment to bring in the new year, but the other debate said not to because you might accidently lose something since you are in the process of “getting rid” of stuff.  Who knows?

I had a lovely evening with my family (much better than Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve).  Maybe because we were sharing stories with my aunt and uncle who were in Mexico during the holidays.  I brought some party favors and they were a hit.  I’m glad everyone was happy. 

Christmas Eve 2018

I’m FINALLY posting about the holidays!  Lol.  Since I’ve been laying low so far in January, I think I should be able to catch up to January posts much sooner.  Lately I’ve been reading a book about French culture and I am intrigued!  I’m hoping to finish some chapters this weekend.  I didn’t realize MLK holiday was this upcoming Monday, so this would be a perfect opportunity to do that.  This book has made me realize that I’ve been missing out on some of my travel experiences.  For the most part, I’ve traveled to get things off my bucket list.  But I’ve noticed when I come back home, I feel that I had a void that I couldn’t figure out.  Once you encounter a new place, it becomes something bigger than you!  The good news:  you get to enrich your life with new experiences.  Reading about France and French culture has made me want to go back and venture out to other regions.  After all, France is about the same size as Texas! 

Back on Christmas Eve, I watched what I ate throughout the day because I knew I was going to have a feast later on.  My brother and mother came to pick me up, and we rode off to my aunt’s place.  My mom made a dish as well.  I felt bad because my aunt and her family were rushing a bit, but it was ok since we knew we were going to have a long night ahead of us.  Unfortunately, some of our family members were out of town, but we made the most of our little group.  It was nice seeing my cousins open up their gifts.

Thanksgiving Weekend 2018

Well it’s almost the end of the year but I made it to Thanksgiving weekend posts!  Lol.  This is where things got more awkward between me and my mom.  She ended up having flood issues in her garden apartment.  On Thanksgiving Day, go figure.  I felt bad.  She didn’t have the chance to cook the dish she wanted to bring over to my aunt’s.  In the end she made a cold pasta dish.  It was good.  She seemed very anxious as well, but was trying to keep her business low key during dinner.  For the most part me and my family were having a lovely evening, but my mom wanted to go home early.  Me and my brother dropped her off. 

The next day, the landlord was trying to see what was wrong.  Unfortunately, he ended up making things worse.  The pipe burst and they had to shut the water off.  It was very frustrating for my mom.  She would shower in her neighbor’s bathroom across the street.  The landlord informed her due to the holiday weekend, the plumber would stop by on Sunday.  We had plans with my dad for dinner on Small Business Saturday, but my younger brother decided to cancel on them.  Another dispute that I couldn’t win.  In the end, he called me up and told me if I wanted to have dinner with my mom instead.  They both came over to my place and I ordered Thai food for all of us.  It wasn’t planned, but I think my mom enjoyed being out of the house away from her drama.  In the end, she stayed with my aunt and uncle who also have a dog.  My mom’s dog and their dog had a blast.  I felt good knowing my mom was safe with them. 

On Thanksgiving Sunday, my younger brother texted me when I was finishing up at the gym.  He wanted to know if I was up for having dinner with my dad.  I was upset because it would have been better for me to do this the night before, but I couldn’t say no.  I haven’t seen my dad in months.  He picked me up and off we went.

My older brother was working and was going to show up later.  Unfortunately, there was a snow storm coming in, and we had to leave right after dinner.  I’m glad I had the chance to catch up with my dad.  It was a weird holiday for all of us but we did manage to spend time with one another.

    

Scowflow Lounge

Do you the funny thing about my life?  Sometimes things would go surprisingly well, and then out of nowhere, the ball drops.  I absolutely HATE this about myself.  I was very stressed when I flew to New York, but once I came back, I felt I had a better outlook once again.  And then, BAM.  I get completely knocked off of my feet.  A lot of times, I feel I bring this on myself.  I am the common denominator in all of these scenarios, so I can’t ignore the fact that I might have something to do with this.  It’s frustrating, because I never get to enjoy the good times for long.  There’s always something lurking around the corner.

These past few years on my own, have been much tougher than I anticipated.  I never realized how much I depended on my ex to help me keep going whenever things would get bad.  Going through hardships without him have shown me what a great support system I had before.  Now that I’m on my own, I miss that so much.

I am very fortunate to have good friends around me, but it’s those dark moments when I’m alone in my apartment that get me every time.  The insomnia, the nightmares, the burst of tears out of nowhere are haunting me once again.  It makes me miss New York so much.  That weekend was a sweet surprise and now it feels so far away. 

The following weekend after I saw my friend at Baptise and Bottle my mom decided to share some news that I was not fond of whatsoever.  Since then, our relationship has been strained, but we’ve managed to talk around our issues.  I’m hoping for the new year things would be different between us, but for the most part, our relationship has always been up and down.  I am coming to terms realizing that this will probably be the way it is forever since it’s never been a smooth ride with her.  I’m sharing this information with anyone out there that might be having a hard time this holiday season.  This will pass.  Luckily next year is right around the corner, and I vow once again, to hope for better things.

I wasn’t feeling very sociable after hearing my mom’s news, but a friend wanted to take me out for a drink at Scowflow Lounge.  I wish I had opted to stay in, but he was hesitant, and I agreed to it.  For the most part, this bar was in Bucktown and it was packed.  Luckily we got a table and were seated next to the fireplace.  I loved it because I’m always cold, and at one point, a server came around and was serving freshly baked cookies.  This was a nice touch and it made me feel a bit better.  Sometimes it’s the little things that can make a hard moment not seem so difficult. 

Labor Day Weekend Sunday

That Labor Day Sunday my mom wanted me and my brothers to come over for dinner.   A friend of mine seemed a bit down, so we decided to catch up for afternoon cocktails.  We had talked on the phone the day before but since I was meeting my friend from Rhode Island, we couldn’t find time to hangout with one another.  I figured I could squeeze in some fun before my mom’s dinner since she usually serves around 6:30pm.  I wanted to show my friend the rooftop at London House since she was staying nearby.  Luckily, Chicago was beautiful that day.  Not a cloud in the sky!

I made my way downtown and was surprised how packed it was for a Sunday afternoon.  Over the years, downtown could be a ghost town especially during holiday weekends.  There are a lot of transplants here in the city, and a majority of them fly out back home during the holidays.  But it seems a ton of tourists decided to be in town for Labor Day, and they were all hanging around the Chicago River.

Our wait wasn’t too bad to get inside.  We ordered some wine at the bar before heading up to the rooftop.  She loved it!  We wanted to grab a table so we walked up to the host.  She was super sweet!  We were having a good time discussing Chicago’s nightlife.  We eventually got a table, and our host would come up to check up on us.  In the end, my friend and her hit it off and exchanged numbers.  They wanted to go out after her shift, but I had to head back home for my mom’s dinner.  I was up in the air about meeting up with them later.  My mom had just came back from Mexico and I wanted to hear about her trip.

My brother picked me up at my train stop and we headed over to my mom’s place.  She absolutely LOVED her trip!  I felt bad because she confessed that she started to cry at the airport when her friends dropped her off.  I realized that she had spent 7 whole days with her friends and she must have gotten attached to being around them.  She’s still lonely being by herself at the apartment, even though she has her dog with her.  I need to be around more…  

 friend of mine seemed a bit down, so we decided to catch up for afternoon cocktails.  We had talked on the phone the day before but since I was meeting my other friend from Rhode Island, we couldn’t find time to hangout with one another.  I figured I could squeeze in some fun before my mom’s dinner since she usually serves around 6:30pm.  I wanted to show my friend the rooftop at London House since she was staying nearby.  Luckily, Chicago was beautiful that day.  Not a cloud in the sky!

I made my way downtown and was surprised at how packed it was for a Sunday afternoon.  Over the years, downtown Chicago could be a ghost town especially during holiday weekends.  There are a lot of transplants here in the city, and a majority of them fly out back home during the holidays.  But it seems a ton of tourists decided to fly in for Labor Day, and they were all hanging around the Chicago River.

Our wait wasn’t too bad to get inside.  We ordered some wine at the bar before heading up to the rooftop.  She loved it!  We wanted to grab a table so we walked up to the host.  She was super sweet!  We were having a good time discussing Chicago’s nightlife.  We eventually got a table, and our host would come up to check up on us.  In the end, my friend and her hit it off and exchanged numbers.  They wanted to go out after her shift, but I had to head back home for my mom’s dinner.  I was up in the air about meeting up with them later.  My mom had just came back from Mexico and I wanted to hear about her trip.

My brother picked me up at my train stop and we headed over to my mom’s place.  She absolutely LOVED Mexico!  I felt bad because she confessed that she started to cry at the airport when her friends dropped her off.  I realized that she had spent 7 whole days with her friends and she must have gotten attached to being around them.  She’s still lonely being by herself at the apartment, even though she has her dog with her.  I need to be around more…  

Journèe Della Femme

Today I fly out to Rome.  I AM SUPER NERVOUS.  My anxiety has crept up on me these past two days.  I am trying my best to remain calm but the butterflies in my stomach won’t stop fluttering.  I am proud that I didn’t feel this way sooner as I have in the past.  I use to get nervous weeks at a time before a trip would come up!  I am aware that this will always be a struggle for me, but I refuse to stop travelling!  The rewards are amazing and I wouldn’t dare do such a thing.  I love it too much.

Last Sunday was Mother’s Day.  My mom was not in the mood to celebrate.  I wasn’t sure what this was about, but I convinced her otherwise to let us take her out for dinner.  She had her reasons but we kept persisting.  We settled on Las Tablas which is a popular restaurant in our neighborhood.  The restaurant was packed when we arrived, and we had to wait to be seated.  I didn’t think it was too bad of a wait but again, my mom was not in the mood.  Not to mention, it was unseasonably cold in Chicago that day.  Regardless, I’m glad we went out as a family.  She enjoyed her soup and seemed ok at the table.  It’s hard to read her sometimes and know what’s really going on.  I asked my brother later on if he knew what that was about, but we concluded that some people are not fond of overly packed restaurants on holidays.  Next time we’ll plan something else.

Wish me luck on my new journey!  I can’t wait to tell you all about it when I get back! 

Made You Look

I’m still trying to play catch up.  For the most part, I’ve been laying low for a bit.  I DID get sick from that weekend I went to the 90s Block Party concert.  I woke up with a sore throat, but didn’t want to miss the show.  The following day, my throat hurt even more.  I went to service for Easter, but came home and nursed myself with hot soup and tea.  Luckily it went away for a few days.  

Nothing eventful happened the first week of April.  I really wanted to stay in the following weekend so I could deep clean the apartment.  With me being away, and then getting sick, my place was in need of a wipe down.  I missed my place.

That Sunday I wanted to see if I could visit the exhibit in Wicker Park of 1979.  MCA museum was promoting the artist Howardena Pindell through this experimental pop up.  I went to church and rushed home to have a quick brunch.  I didn’t want to get there too late since I had dinner plans with my family.  I rushed out of there only to trip and fall on my face.  Literally.  I ended up chipping my front tooth.  It looks horrible!!!  Despite hurting my pride more than anything, I was extra cautious the rest of the day.  I knew in my heart that this could have been much worse, yet I couldn’t help but slow down my stride.  That’s what I get for rushing out of the house, I thought to myself.

I made it to the show but it was a small exhibit.  I did get a free graphic T-shirt which made my day.  I got a chance to spend the rest of the afternoon window shopping in Wicker before I headed back home.  It killed some time before I met up with my dad’s family again for dinner.

This time, dinner with Dad was more sad than usual.  We were celebrating the birthday of a relative, but she looked pretty miserable.  I almost felt the family received some bad news.  Regardless, we all sung happy birthday to her.  Hopefully that made her feel a little better…

In hindsight, that weekend taught me to slow down and not to get worked over my appearance too much.  I have an appointment (finally) next week to see my dentist.  Most people don’t see my chipped tooth right away, but if there’s something my dentist can do, I’m open to hearing some options.  Until next time.  

Birthday Bash for Pop

I’m still recapping events in March.  I can’t believe I’m going to be traveling again in a few weeks.  In the meantime, to keep myself busy (and not spend money on nonsense) I’ve started some weekend projects in my apartment.  The sun is finally shining here in Chicago, and I’ve been in a cleaning frenzy ever since.  It’s amazing how much dust is around when you do not have good lighting at hand.  For now, I’ve decided to tackle my cube bookshelf little by little.  I have so many papers, magazines and catalogs I need to clear out.  It’s ridiculous, but I’m excited to see how much neater my shelf will look.

Once I returned from Paris, the following day I had a dinner to go to for my dad.  We were celebrating his birthday at Tequila CJ Grill restaurant on Archer Ave.  It happened to land on the weekend for March Madness.  My brother asked if I could accompany him earlier so he could watch the game nearby at a bar.  I was fine with it, but as luck would have it, our dinner was pushed back an hour later.  Oh well. 

Me and my brother decided to go to the restaurant once the game was finished and hangout at the bar until everyone arrives.  We were not aware of how packed the restaurant could get!  The line to get inside was out the door!  It was cold outside too, so me and my brother waited in the car until the rest of the family showed up.  I couldn’t believe it, but our 7pm dinner was now reaching to 9pm and my dad and his wife was nowhere in sight.  They finally showed up when the restaurant was clearing up and we all grabbed a table by the stage.  There was a live performance that night.

My dad recently suffered an accident at work and was currently not working at the time.  I’m glad we had the chance to celebrate his birthday outside of the house.  I hope he enjoyed himself.  He’s hard to read sometimes.