Journèe Della Femme

Today I fly out to Rome.  I AM SUPER NERVOUS.  My anxiety has crept up on me these past two days.  I am trying my best to remain calm but the butterflies in my stomach won’t stop fluttering.  I am proud that I didn’t feel this way sooner as I have in the past.  I use to get nervous weeks at a time before a trip would come up!  I am aware that this will always be a struggle for me, but I refuse to stop travelling!  The rewards are amazing and I wouldn’t dare do such a thing.  I love it too much.

Last Sunday was Mother’s Day.  My mom was not in the mood to celebrate.  I wasn’t sure what this was about, but I convinced her otherwise to let us take her out for dinner.  She had her reasons but we kept persisting.  We settled on Las Tablas which is a popular restaurant in our neighborhood.  The restaurant was packed when we arrived, and we had to wait to be seated.  I didn’t think it was too bad of a wait but again, my mom was not in the mood.  Not to mention, it was unseasonably cold in Chicago that day.  Regardless, I’m glad we went out as a family.  She enjoyed her soup and seemed ok at the table.  It’s hard to read her sometimes and know what’s really going on.  I asked my brother later on if he knew what that was about, but we concluded that some people are not fond of overly packed restaurants on holidays.  Next time we’ll plan something else.

Wish me luck on my new journey!  I can’t wait to tell you all about it when I get back! 

Ay Ay Picante

I’m semi-feeling better.  I’m worried because I finished taking my antibiotics but I still have a cough.  It’s not as bad as it was but still.  Regardless, I had another fight with my mom.  I’m getting concerned about this.  Normally it takes A LOT for me to get angry, but ever since she put the house up for sale, we’ve had 3 big arguments.  I feel guilty for yelling at her sometimes, but she’s so stubborn and to make matters worse, she does not want to hear what you have to say if you do not agree with her.  What kind of disagreement is that?  You have to hear both sides but she insists on hearing her own and then she does not want to continue talking to me.  I hate that she doesn’t stick up and fight.  She leaves and like I’ve said before, we’ve had bad fights where we would not talk to each other for years.

What was the argument about?  She wants to agree to a low offer on the house so she could finally get rid of it.  I, on the other hand, think it’s been on the market for barely 4 weeks and she should hold out for a better offer.  I mean, summer hasn’t even started!  Oh boy!

This past Sunday for Mother’s Day we had a good time at Ay Ay Picante.  I wanted to pick a restaurant in our neighborhood so we all decided on that one.  It’s been around for a while and I was hoping because it’s tucked away, it wouldn’t be so busy.  Yeah right.  We waited close to 2 hours for our food.  I completely understand considering the occasion, and unlike the night before, they brought out our appetizers out early in the evening.  Everything was delish! 

During our wait, me and my brothers were goofing around.  It’s rare that all 3 of us manage to get together.  Eventually they brought out our main dish and we ate like kings!  My mom loved it and my brothers completely devoured their plates.  It was worth the wait!

Now here we are, back at square one arguing.  I’m getting tired of this.  Until next time.

My mom and my little brother.

Me and my older brother goofing off.

My brother's steak.

My salmon and shrimp skewers.

Mother's Day

Sunday was Mother's Day and I snapped at my mom.  Yes, it sounds truly horrible, but I couldn't help it.  It came out of no where.  Part of me knows I didn't do the right thing.  Yet I am proud of it.  I want her to be aware that I AM AWARE that something is not right.  Let me explain...
I told my brothers ahead of time that I wanted to take my mom out to dinner for Mother's Day.  I figured if she works (which she usually does on Sundays) that it would be nice for her to come home and not worry about dinner.  I know it's traditional to take mom out for brunch, but dinner would better for us and it wouldn't be as crowded.  Let's face it.  Sometimes parents can be tricky.  Because I know my mom so well, I knew she would put up a fight and try to knock the idea down.  "You don't have to do anything.  Everyday is Mother's Day."  I wouldn't take no for an answer.  I told her we would pick her up and that's that.
When I went with my mom to her doctor's appointment two weeks ago, I got a chance to enjoy her company more because we were out of the house.  I am terribly allergic to her dog, not to mention my asthma kicks in as well.  She hates putting the dog away because he yelps so much and she feels guilty.  Meanwhile me and my other brother are dying and have to always cut our visits short to an hour or so.  We both take 24 hour allergy medication but those things only work for 2 hours max.  Then my wheezing sets in and I have to go.  It's a nuisance because we can't stay as long as we'd like.  Her dog means the world to her so it puts all of us in a bind.  What can you do?   
I figured my plan was fool proof but I could tell that she looked tired from work and really didn't want to go back out for dinner.  We settled at one of our favorite restaurants that's a few blocks away.  Las Tablas is a favorite of Chicagoans for good Colombian food since 1991.  We started to look over the menu.  I have been craving their chicken plate for months and was excited to order.  My mom, not so much.  "I think I'm going to have the soup," she said.  "SOUP???  We didn't come all the way here for you to order soup!!  Order something mommy!  You need to eat!"  I think I took everyone by surprise when I snapped but I couldn't help it.  She's lost a lot of weight and it's noticeable.  She had soup that day when I treated her to lunch after her doctor's appointment.  She needs to eat even if she doesn't feel like it.  I think back to some of our nightly conversations where she's mentioned how tired she is; how she's going straight to bed and not having any dinner because she's not hungry.  She's tired because she's depressed.  It sucks because for over 4 weeks they have scheduled her days off separately and not back to back.  She is so close to retiring but she's not getting the proper rest that she deserves.  She's a 65 year old woman who wants her full retirement.  She is pushing herself.  She's also gone through so much in a short amount of time.  She was going to therapy at one point but because of her work schedule changing her days off from week to week, she had trouble keeping her appointments.
I know she's depressed and I feel terrible about it.  I also think she has her good days and bad days.  We managed to continue our dinner and had some laughs.  There was someone at the restaurant who was taking pictures of all the families.  I thought it was a great idea and she loved her photo.  It was a sweet gesture on their part.  We continued catching up even when our dinner was over.  That's the one thing that did make the dinner impersonal.  We weren't quite in our dining room.  We were at a restaurant and we had to make our way out of there.
Yesterday we met up again at my mom's house for dinner.  She had both her days off back to back again, so she wanted to make dinner for us.  I made sure I took my 24 hour Allegra before I got there.  We had a nice time gossiping on family stuff.  She looked good.  In a few short months, her life will get a lot easier.  I can't wait...

Wore my old flare jeans with cork wedges.  I wish it would stay warm enough for sandals!

I figured I'll wear my floral print blazer for Mother's Day. 

My brother bought my mom this beautiful orchid!

Time for dinner at Las Tablas!

My mom and me...

Gotta love snapchat's filters...

Bros...



Empanadas for starters...

This chicken is PERFECT!!

My mom ate everything off her plate!  Breaded pork chops...

The infamous picture!  This was so sweet of them to do! 

MOTHER'S DAY IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!!!

Just a friendly reminder!  I can't believe Mother's Day is THIS Sunday.  This year is moving too quickly for me.  Regardless, I spent some time with my mom last week on Monday.  Her schedule has been difficult lately due to her days off being split up.  It's hard for her to rest and run her errands.  Usually she has two consecutive days off but lately that hasn't been the case.  Me and my brothers haven't had dinner with her in weeks because of it.  Once she told me about her upcoming doctor's appointment, I made up my mind to accompany her so we can at least share the afternoon together. 
The weather worked out for us that day.  We decided to have lunch after her appointment, and I'm glad we did.  It gave us a chance to relax and unwind.  Since I haven't seen her weeks, I was surprised to find out at the doctor's office that she had lost so much weight.  I've been worried about her lately.  She's been anxious and I'm trying to pinpoint why.  I know she's counting down to the days of her retirement, but I want her to not get so worked up by things.  I feel she stresses herself out way too much. 
We had lunch at Beatrix in Streeterville and I loved it!  I ordered the warm pot roast sandwich with caramelized onions and my mom had the spring pea soup.  I insisted she ordered something with it, but unfortunately, her nerves were working against her that day.  At least she did enjoy her soup.  Back at the doctor's office they had her fill out a questionnaire about her symptoms and there was a section on her mental health.  It threw me off because I felt it was so unfair.  I know my mom has suffered a lot these past few years with her husband being sick, diagnosed, and then his passing.  I wish life would give her a break sometimes.  I still believe she will be fine, mostly because of the type of relationship she had with her husband.  Whether she knows it or not, she's a very tough woman.  She just has fragile emotions...




DELISH!!

My mom thought her soup was very freshly made...

A very special Mother's Day...

Happy Monday world!!  Sometimes I get the Monday Blues, but I try to fight off the funk with some positive vibes.  Think about it.  It's the start of a new work week.  Try to demolish your goals so you can sit back and praise the work you have done.  Any type of effort will increase your chances on getting stuff accomplished.  Right now for me personally, it's to finish up May's events on my blog.  lol
Back in May, me and my brothers tried to convince my mom to let us take her out for dinner on Mother's Day.  But she wasn't having it.  She really wanted us to come over instead.  My only problem with that is her overly-hyper dog.  I'm asthmatic and me and my brother are both allergic to her dog.  It would have been nice to not to meet at her house for a change so me and my brother could breathe properly.  Not to mention our time is always limited with our mom because we end up leaving early.  What can you do?  Despite us taking some Allegra for our allergies, it still doesn't eliminate the problem completely.  She also hates leaving the dog out in the yard.  He yelps too much, so she always caves and lets him in.
My asthma and allergies have had conflicts in my life through out the years.  Despite what people think, I had pets early in my life, although it would have been wise not to.  I would use my inhaler constantly.  I never "overcame" my asthma.  When I moved out of my mother's house with my first boyfriend, it didn't stop there.  One day he came home and brought home a dog.  A couple of months later, he brought home a cat.  Now I'm in my 20s and I STILL didn't overcome my asthma.  This was becoming a problem in my life and in my relationships.  When we finally broke up, he took our pets and I haven't had a pet since.
The problem with this is people are IN LOVE with their pets and they assume, I do not like animals because I won't get near them.  That is false, of course.  But since people look at their animals as part of the family, they cannot grasp the concept of locking their animals away whenever me and my brother come around.  I look like the bad guy. 
I wish my mom would have done the same for us, but she loves her dog so much and couldn't keep him outside while we were there.  So again, our home cooked meal was limited to an hour and a half before me and my brother's allergies got the best of us.  I think because my mom is still in mourning, she wasn't ready to face a crowded restaurant.  She just wanted to be home.  Come to think about it, she really doesn't go anywhere but her house and work.  I'm hoping we can take her out to dinner in a restaurant when her birthday comes around in September.  Let's pray that she'll let us!  It would be nice for her to get out and about once in a while. 
This mother's day was an emotional one for her, but at least we spent it together as a family.

WE LOVE OUR MOM!!!

She means so much to me.

My younger brother and my mom.  He is the only one who doesn't have a problem with her dog.  LUCKY!!

My "older" brother and my mom.  He is not asthmatic like me but has seasonal allergies as well as being allergic to pets.