Floating

Do you ever feel like you’re “floating” through time?  Right now, my concept of time is off balance due to recent events.  I had someone ask me if I’m excited next week is Thanksgiving.  I answered that Halloween passed by too quickly.  Regardless, I’m emotionally pooped.

My friend lost her aunt unexpectedly.  In a matter of 2 weeks I’ve been to 2 funerals.  In hindsight, in the past 2 months I’ve known 4 people in total who have lost their lives.  Every single situation was truly heart breaking.  With the devastation in Puerto Rico from Hurricane Maria, and the domestic terrorism incident in Las Vegas, I never imagined in a million years some of the events I have witnessed.  My heart aches for my friends who have suffered the unimaginable. 

In the meantime, I wake up in the middle of the night and cry myself back to sleep.  I am constantly sad.  I try to fight off my thoughts and try to be optimistic but sometimes life can be unfair.  I can’t find the silver lining, or lesson learned, or any meaning except that shit happens.  I pray all the time for my friends and family’s safety.  I wish I could find a way to make things better.

At the funeral for my friend’s aunt, the rabbi mentioned to focus on what SHE would have wanted for her loved ones:  to move on.  Even if we are hurting with her gone, she would have wanted everyone to move past this and live their lives to the fullest.  I completely agreed with him.  He’s right.  That is what she would have wanted.  The least we could do is grant her that wish.

I felt anxious when I came home and napped it out since I’ve been barely sleeping.  Once I woke up I decided to go to a birthday party that I was invited to at the last minute.  I just didn’t want to be at home alone with my thoughts.  I made my way to Parlor off Randolph and met up with some friends.  It felt good not to think for a bit.  Luckily, since it was a birthday celebration, everyone was in good spirits.  We ended up at The Mid and danced around.  For this short moment, I saw happy faces, and it was worth it…

After party at The Mid!

Good times...

Raining AGAIN...

We don't seem to get a break over here.  Everywhere else it's nice and sunny and we continue to get rain.  Not to mention, my hair is super curly and I barely put anything in it.  I don't even fight the humidity anymore.  If we get lucky, we get one or two days of no rain, but then it's back to showers again.  Maybe there's truth to be said when it comes down to the weather.  It DOES affect your mood...
Since I stepped out last Thursday for Cinco de Mayo, I was hesitant about doing it again the next day.  But low and behold, that was one of our nicer days we've encountered here in Chicago.  I couldn't help but get the itch to go out again.  I made my way home after work and took a nap before I started all over again.  This time we met up at The Hidden Shamrock by the DePaul neighborhood.  We didn't do much but goof around, which was fine by me.  We laughed a lot that night.

Goofing around at The Hidden Shamrock

They flew from Charlotte, North Carolina 

The following day the gang had a Cubs game to go to.  I wanted to rest.  I've been having trouble sleeping lately, and wanted to relax.  It was nice cleaning up the apartment and watching the Kentucky Derby.  I was not in the mood to rush anywhere that day.  My friends made plans to have dinner at Sunda after the game and go out afterwards.  I told them I would meet them later on for cocktails.
The weather was very windy that day, but luckily in the evening there was no rain.  My friends were finishing up dinner when I got there.  We had some cocktails there and made our way over to Hampton Social.  There wasn't much action going on so we walked all the way to Sienna Tavern to meet up with more friends.  Luckily the music was good and we decided to stay.  I was surprised that my friends were still up for more action despite having a long day already.  We closed up Sienna and made our way to Joy district, a new spot that opened up on Hubbard Street.  We goofed around some more and then made our way across the street to Celeste.  I was fine till out of no where I grew very tired.  I was done.  I was proud of myself for staying out as late as I could, but I knew I wanted my bed again.  My insomnia is getting the best of me, and I want to sleep as much as I could.  Who knows if tonight's the night I'll be up all night?  I don't want to take any chances.  I went home.
I know my feelings about going out and having fun has changed significantly over the years.  Right now all that matters is my mom and her well being.  Sometimes it's nice to go out and not think about anything serious and goof around with friends, but the nightlife has other factors that can be unsettling.  I am constantly aware of my surroundings and who I'm with at all times.  There's too many scary stories I've seen and heard over the years that put things in perspective.  Sometimes, it's just not worth the trouble.  But when you DO enjoy yourself, it's nice to know you'll remember these times.  I hope our friends from out of town had a blast on their visit to Chicago!  We lived it up!

I passed on this dessert treat from Sunda but my friends absolutely loved it!  

I couldn't resist having a bite of fried ice cream!  

Wore a top that's over 12 years old!  I can't believe it's still fits!