New Beginnings

I’m FINALLY catching up with August events although this month is almost over!  Unbelievable!  I can’t believe how fast time flies.  It scares me sometimes.

I had an amazing day today.  I went to see the exhibit “The Octopus Eats Its Own Leg” at the MCA.  Takashi Murakami blew my mind!  I think this is what I needed to feel better.  Last night I couldn’t sleep because I started thinking about my trip.  This morning my stomach wasn’t feeling so great.  I’ve barely ate anything because I keep running to the bathroom.  My co-worker was worried I was going to bail out on our art date, but I toughened up.  We’ve been waiting for the perfect Tuesday to do this.  On Tuesdays it’s free at the MCA.

I will speak about our experience later on when I catch up on my blog.  But for now, let’s discuss the first week in August.  I heard about an unexpected death of someone my friends knew the weekend of my mom’s yard sale.  Prior to that, my mom had admitted herself to the hospital from an anxiety attack.  I was feeling overwhelmed.  A friend of mine called me up at work and wanted to have dinner with me.  I didn’t think it would be a good idea at first since I felt I wasn’t going to be good company, but then I thought, why not?

We went to Taylor Street for some Indian food.  Taylor Street is known to be an Italian neighborhood here in Chicago, but over the years, it’s grown to be more of a cultural environment.  Restaurants now serve more of a global cuisine.  My date wanted Indian food and suggested the Taj Mahal.  Lol.  Regardless of the name, we had a good time catching up with one another.  I definitely needed that.

I laid low on Friday once I received a text from my friend.  It looks like she needed some help moving into her brand new place!  I was very excited for her and agreed to help out once I got up.  I did my usual Saturday routine of chores and headed out there once I was done.  I had a going away party to attend to later on but I let her know I could help out for a few hours.

Her place was awesome!  Everything was brand new (which helps out a lot).  It was pretty hot that day, so we definitely worked up a sweat.  I felt bad leaving early but they had a majority of their stuff moved in by then.  Moving sucks!  Lol

I rushed home to get ready and headed to my friend’s place where they were having the surprise party.  Our friend was moving to Miami with her family, and my friends decided to throw a party for her pre-celebrating her birthday as well.  It was nice seeing everyone.  That weekend was also Lollapalooza weekend, but I wasn’t planning on going.  I didn’t have any tickets and figured no one I knew was going to be there anyway.  I found it funny when people were texting me to see if I was there.  Lol.  Next year I guess.

I had fun hanging out with my friends.  I’ve known them for close to 20 years, but they go way back since high school!  I love that they kept in touch for all these years.

The next day, I took a brief trip down to Lollapalooza, but only to hear the music from the outside.  It was still a hot Sunday, and I got a chance to hear Perry’s stage for some EDM.  I don’t know if I could do this fest again, but this Friday I have a one day pass for North Coast Fest.  Let’s see how long I can hang there…

New Year's Eve!! New Year; New Me

I'm FINALLY recapping the end of 2015!!!  lol.  I'm glad I've reached this point so far.  The past 2 years of writing my thoughts down has led me to reveal a couple of things in my life.  It took me a while to feel comfortable discussing some issues since there's been so many changes with me within the past 5 years.  What's hard sometimes is right when you think you've weathered a storm, another one comes along and changes everything.  The hits keep coming.  I miss the days when everything seemed carefree.  Now I look back and wonder how I manage to survive all of this.  I know I haven't had it hard as others.  I know there could be far worse things in the world to deal with.  But we all know when you're going through tough times, you feel isolated and lonely because you feel you're the only one in the world going through this.
Well you're not.  I went through a bad breakup 3 years ago.  Not to mention, it didn't happen overnight.  It was a slow motion of unraveling revelations, about him, about me, about us.  Trying to discuss it with my friends seemed pointless.  Up to then, most of them haven't settled down with anyone yet.  They had no idea how much it hurt.  Of course they went through breakups in the past, but my ex boyfriend was "the one" to me.  He was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with.  What happened?  I was blindsided that we reached that point of no return.  It hurt a lot and it took some time for me to feel ok to move forward.  Mostly because I did not know what the plan was for me anymore.  It was always me and him, and now it's me trying to figure what I want to do next.
The first 2 years without him hurt a lot, but the following year, I started to feel comfortable within myself.  I was having a good time with my friends again, and we did a lot of things together that year.  Then Spring of 2014 happened, and my mom found out that her husband had a terminal illness.  The rest of the year was watching him deteriorate to basically nothing when he finally passed away in Feb 2015.  Death is a process, too, just like a breakup, but the effects are forever haunting.  I realized how blessed I am that my ex is ok because I saw how hard it is for my mom to not see her husband again.  I want my ex to be happy.  I also am pulling for him to find his happiness since it wasn't with me. 
Now here I am, 5 years later, trying to make sure my mom doesn't feel lonely, seeing my friends settle down with weddings, children, and moving in together scenarios, and me with my blog.  I remember jotting down the crazy things going on in my life and thinking, how did I end up HERE?  I think for the most part, we've all figured out that life isn't necessarily the way we thought it would be.  But for me, the only choice I have is to keep going.  Change is inevitable.  Whether you like it or not, it happens, and we have to adapt.  I know it's hard when you want things to be "easier" on you, but let's fact it.  Life isn't easy, but it can be beautiful.  Trust me.
It's been a little over 3 weeks since New Year's Eve.  I hope everyone out there are on track with their resolutions!!  The days leading up to New Year's was a little scattered.  First up, I started to feel yucky.  My throat was feeling funny.  I was tired.  And the text messages started to come in.  What were my plans?  Where was I going?  My first thought was home to take care of this sore throat.  The last thing I wanted to do was get sick on New Year's Eve.  I knew for a fact I did not want to be out somewhere crazy because of the last couple of years' craziness.  I wanted to feel safe and sound and with the company of friends.  My girlfriend who had her baby back in July was hosting a gathering at her place in the suburbs.  I agreed to spend it over there.
I ended up dressing up although most were dressed down.  lol.  I guess I should have asked first what was going on.  We watched the countdown live on tv, played games such as Family Feud, and joked around the rest of the night.  I felt content that I made the right choice by celebrating low key, but it was there I also had an idea for a New Year's resolution.  Now it's time to work for it! 

Our friends are now having families!  It's crazy!!

Mother and son and me

Good times with the girls! 

Group shot!