Time to mentally recharge!

Well my worst case scenario happened last night.  Nothing dramatic, I swear.  But to me, an awkward situation nonetheless.  As a proud introvert, I sometimes feel I have to pump myself up in these social outings.  I know that may throw some people off considering how many times I go out, but for me, I have to prepare myself mentally whenever I get invited to things.  The obvious reasoning is that I am painfully shy.  It takes a while for me to come out of my shell.  Sometimes that can portray me in a different light.  I usually get people who ask me if everything is ok.  I can't help it.  I've always been this way.
I was worse when I was younger.  In my 20s I started working in retail because I always loved fashion.  One of my duties was to be a greeter to everyone that walked in the store.  To me it was no different than to ask me to perform open heart surgery.  I absolutely hated it.  My boyfriend at the time thought it was the easiest job in the world.  "You get paid to say hi", but he didn't understand where I was coming from.  When I look back on it, I realized it was a turning point for me.  Whether I liked it or not, it was part of my job and I had to do it.  One time a manager told me to, "Pretend you're the happiest girl in the world!!"  I thought it was odd but then it hit me.  Shy people don't necessarily look very happy. 
I grew some confidence in myself after working in the retail industry.  I did it for 10 years and I still think about going back.  What I learned too, is that women really do beat themselves up too much.  I had to help women find something fabulous to wear so they can feel fabulous.  Which leads me back to the "fake-it-till-you-make-it" mantra.
Now that I know ahead of time on what to expect, I can mentally prepare myself to be "ok".  I will let you know how I will train myself till then but for now, back to December events!
After we unwrapped our gifts on Christmas Eve, the next day my dad wanted me and my brothers to stop by for Christmas Day dinner.  MORE FOOD GALORE!!  His wife made arroz con gandules, a Puetro Rican dish that is usually served during special occasions.  It was perfect for a cold winter night.  Me and my brothers had a good time catching up with my Dad since we haven't spent too much time with him.  My dad works 2 jobs and he is 70 years old!  He has always been a workaholic so it's hard to find time with him and his busy schedule.  It was nice knowing he had the day off for a change.  My dad could ramble on for hours, especially after he had a couple of Modelos.

The table is all set for an Christmas Day dinner!

My Dad is FINALLY smiling!

My Dad, his wife and my bros!

Arroz con gandules!!

My Dad smacking away!

Playing around at home.  I bought this cable sweater from Banana Republic!

A Holiday Heat Wave...

Today in Chicago it reached 82 degrees.  So far, it hasn't reached very hot yet, but summer is on it's way.  Unfortunately, the weather will be dipping back into the 60s this weekend.  With the temperatures going back and forth to warm and cold, it's hard to figure out what to put on in the morning.  Regardless, I'm still trying to recap what happened 6 months ago.  Christmas was a special one this year, mostly because we lost a member of the family soon after that.  I'm glad to know that my mom had a chance to be with her husband and share this holiday together.  We started to notice some physical changes after Thanksgiving, which can be a hard pill to swallow when the family gets together.  It is a reminder that no one is ready when their time is ending soon. 
We took a lot of pictures.  We bought a lot of gifts.  My mom bought him a tablet that he enjoyed very much.  I was pretty surprised because my mom is not tech savvy.  Obviously someone introduced her to this fancy gadget.  Looking back at the pictures, I can see how worn out my mom looks.  She looks tired.  During this time, she was working a lot leading up to Christmas.  After that, things died down a bit.  She's in the hospitality business.  Tourism thrives in November and December.  I can't imagine the stress she was going through making sure everything looked festive for her husband.  He did manage to give out a big smile around us.  I hope he enjoyed his time here with us. 

Check out my mom's tree!

Me and my mom...

Me and my brother.  I decided to wear a sparkly blazer.

Time to open up the gifts!

My mom's husband give us a peace- out.  He looks happy here...

 

 

My mom's side of the family has always celebrated Christmas Eve.  On Christmas Day we went over to celebrate with my Dad.  My mom and dad divorced when I was 8 years old.  They both remarried years later.  It was a hard adjustment for our family, and unfortunately, a sign of the times.  Since they both remarried when we were adults, a lot of our childhood was rough.  My mom did her best with the 3 of us, but it wasn't easy on her at all.  It was a tough transition, and I have many difficult moments trying to piece what my life would have been like if they did stay together.  What type of person would have I been instead of who I am now?  I learned to let go of the what ifs and decided to focus on the person who I am today.  And in the present, my father reached out to us to focus on our relationship.  We had a great holiday with him and his wife.  I feel very blessed knowing at that time, my family was safe and together.

Me and my dad.  His dog is hiding in his lap.

My brother with his girlfriend.  They look happy!